Srene's :D

Daily rant

2012-02-13T00:42:00.002+08:00

Hello earthworms.

I guess everyone is mugging hard for exams recently?

Teehehe. Hope y'all do well (;

Pffttssss.

The thought of going back to Perth honestly just sucks like shit

But oh well I guess I can still feel it coming?

Did a shoot for shadow productions yesterday.

An gonna blog about it soon.

Pictures up by end of march, if I'm not wrong.

Though I think I literally just sucked in it.

Not in da mood ystd.

Can't believe I'm spending my 3rd valentine with Weiliang this year

He's gonna bring me to parizz so that I can enjoy my oyster and sashimiiiii

Yourockbro!

Okay,

Gonna side track this post

----------------------------------------------------------------

And go on w my daily ranting.

I know this part sucks the most

But you guys are always extremely awesome t me (;

Sometimes I really wonder if you'll ever understand how I feel.

When you're sad, I'm sad

But when I am, are you?

I feel like I'm hanging in space.

Moving forward isn't an option, stepping backward isn't what I really want.

I feel tired.

When I try to be there all the time

Yet I don't really know how you feel.

Seems like I don't understand you at all?! I just don't know.

Its such a funny thing.

That someone can occupy your thoughts entirely

And nothing else matters.

Feb woes.

2012-02-11T10:42:00.003+08:00

12 MORE DAYS.

& Me @WYLIMMM will be gone from our funpiecountry.

Dont know how Im supposed to be feeling,

but sucks much i guess?

Went out with Angxiulingggg yesterday.

Happyhappygirl.

Tonight we're gonna go eat supper after my nightshoot.

MUAHAHAHA.

Finallaye some food.

Ate DTF with weiwei ytd, HE TREAT ME EAT.
YAY! & Then I was reminded how fat xlb is -.-
#okaycan.

Had some unhappy things along the way yesterday.
And I feel super suffocated about it.
I mean, I know you care, I know you're afraid.
But, this is call being social?
You can call me a slut, call me a flirt.
All the time.
You can threaten me not to contact anymore,
but honestly, knowing me for so long, is that how I am to you?
Dont tell me about changes, because its inevitable.
& the thing is, i didnt.
I guess the thing you cant get used to is,
Im no longer in a r/s? And I do have my freedom to mix with friends?
When Im with you, I kept the lowest possible contact with ANY OTHER guy friends.
But now?! To me, they're just friends.
Im not choosing who over who. & even more, im not even choosing a boyfr now?!
Its not like between you and him i must choose one? then i sadlife123.
I know, you want the best for me,
You dont want me to be taken adv of. I really know.
But sometimes, have you ever thought that Im suffocating?
You're always the one I used to turn to whenever I have problems.
How come I feel that I have nowhere to turn to now, because
even you, dont understand me at all?
If I tell you about my problems, most probably you'll say you want to beat all of them up?
Because everything that comes out from you is
TO BEAT THEM UP.
What you want, might not be the best for me. And it might not be what I want.
When i tell you about my problems, i just need someone there to listen to me.
Not resulting to any dramamama to happen right?
Why isit that everytime, i'll have to beg you not to, and all you can tell me is NO.

If you love someone, dont ever put her into a spot.
Because its hard for me to breathe. It seems like im all chained up
And i can do nothing about it.
Youre just like my family, and you know it.
Youre important to me.
Its just that sometimes, its my life, let me handle it my way please?
Im just too tired of yelling,quarrelling and all those doubts you have for me
EVEN IF I SAID THAT THEY WERENT TRUE, WILL YOU EVEN BELIEVE ME?
So whats the point of explaining when everything in your thoughts is already fixed?

IM NOT DIFFERENT, ALL ALONG IVE BEEN THE SAME.
Its just that when Im with you, I tend to compromise and do things that you like.
And try to do things that you dont.
Its a diff thing now, and you're the one that made that happen.

Had a serious hangover after drinking w the coolbros on thurs man.
Awwwww everyone's leaving ):
Sigh.
And then,
its till we meet again.
Miss them so much.

Glimpse

2012-01-31T02:31:00.004+08:00

Hey peepzzzzz.
I know its been sooooo long since I updated.
So...... I hope that y'all had a good new year? (':
I guess everyone's busy with projs,exams,work,more projs,more exams,more work.
Honestly,
thinking that Im gonna go back to perth alr.
I guess it sucks too muchhhhhhhhh, but oh well.
Absence makes the heart grows fonder? No?

Firstly, I gotta thank the best guyyyyyyyyyy in my life.
For being here for me throughout my highest and lowest pointtttttttttt as always.
Sorry i drunk text you that day "B" !
but i know you wont mind cause you simply got too used to my nonsense.
YOUCANCALLMESLUTFLIRTASSHOLEALLTHETIME.
But you know i still love you the same.
Even though we quarrel each time we meet,
shout at one another each time we talked.
YOU DO REALISE I STILL TREAT YOU THE BEST RIGHT.
DONT TELL ME YOU DONT.
AND DONT KEEP SAYING AND SAYING AND SAYING THAT IM A SLUT.
You do know that i still do bite even when im now a tame tigress.
you @#$%^&*()
But i still realise that quarrelling w each other seems to be very fun right.
ASSHOLE, WE GOT TOO USED TO SHOUTING, WE DONT EVEN MIND ANYMORE
But the moment when im drunk and you shouted at me.
STILL MAKE ME ANGRY!
AND IM NOT APPEASED YET YOU IDIOTTTTTTTT.
See you on wednesday mysunshine.
Loveyousoverymuchmyhoneybunnywizzyweiliang.

I had a fantastic new year! Pictures taken with all the aunts/cousins?
All the young ones like @adriantanbp & derek tan all MISSINGINACTION.
See la. Lonergirl1993.

Club with the girls last friday.
It was mad havoc.
Bruises on my legs.
A cracked screen iphone.
Acting like some crazy bitch.
I dont really know what else im capable of.

Took this pic with the aphrillis of my life.

& one with zhoujieming's brother.
HAHAHA.

& With my fav bff & jaychou imposter?

MY FIRST LOUHEI WITH THE CLIQUE @ JO'S 21ST.
AWESOME PEOPLE
Lovelesterjoannekhloeluitingjojonicoletteyingyingjamiejonjeremy
fendivetozihaogideonalex
FAMILYRIGHTZZXZXZXZX? (:

WITH THE SWEETESTKINDESTAWESOMESTPRETTIEST BIRTHDAY GIRL
IN THE WORLDDDDD.
I love you dear.
Hope that youve enjoyed every bits of your birthday.
And im sure in for more of yours to come in the near future.
I LOVE YOU XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Not to mentioned I had dinnnzzzz & movie with the BFF on sunday.
Just before he booked in.
The boy is damn rich la.
Everyday shopped for A & F tees.
Also never see him buying anything for me.
Haha as usual he ORDERED his 2 bowls of rice.
And I ordered mushroom noodles?
He say thats the first time he ever see me EAT LIKE A HUMAN !
Horrible guy.

Thankyou for always making me happy, cheering me up.
Saying and sharing lotsa stuff w me.
Seeing you eat is always a pleasure because
You always FINISH up alot of food.

You say the show's boring.
Actually compared to special forces, ITS CONSIDERED NOT BAD already.
But you still kept dozing off and off and offfffffff.

Thanks for always allowing me to tell you every bits and happenings in my daily life.
and still listened to whatever i sayyyyyyyy.
Even though we seldom talk that often now,
YOUSTILLDABEST !

You never become skinnier and fairer k.
You still look as awesome as before!

Nothing beats

2012-01-18T03:04:00.002+08:00

Nothing beats sipping a cup of coffee

And eating a piece of cake.

Being engross in your fav book while listening to your fav. music

Or just simply

Playing the rhythmic yet soft piano piece you love.

I guess all the best thing in life is listed above? Yes?

Seems to me that I've sunk myself too deep into

Hectic social issues too much I've forgotten

How weekday blues were actually wonderful.

Cooping in the crib.

Enjoying to the fullest in the huge and empty room.

Somehow felt better than going out and facing the busy world.

I guess what theoldrustybff told me in the past was actually true to an extent

That sometimes being alone can be a form of pleasure

Rather than being out with friends.

guess he's right.

Hmmmm.

But nevertheless

I still can't wait to see many people.

It's just that I guess I prefer some lone time to myself sometimes (:

Firstnewyearwithoutyouinages

2012-01-16T01:54:00.003+08:00

o.O

This new year is gonna be the first one without Lezzie in my house.

Oh damn.

its gonna be bored

cause no one play fireworks, eat steamboat and bully me with the kids ):

No more movie marathon in maiiiiiiiiiii room ):

Meishsosad.

Am so not used to ittttttt.

But oh well,

gotta get use to future cny's without you right?!

These few days fatty keep getting angry at me

FOR NO REASON.

and we have to keep quarrelling all the time

just to prease him.

Anyway.

JUST CAME BACK FROM MALACCA WITH AWESOME PEOPLE.

GONNA PLAN FOR BANGKOK WITH MUMZIE AND SHARON SOON .

OMGOMG

SO EGGCITED YO.

Shall blog on malacca trip soon.

Am so lazy & tiredzxzxzxzx

Gnightworld.

Gnightgrumpyweiliang.

Firstnewyearwithoutyouinages

2012-01-16T01:54:00.001+08:00

Dramas

2012-01-12T03:40:00.003+08:00

So these few days I've been staying at home.

Being Mummy's girl.

Haha. Cooked alot recently.

And Im so lazy.

I cant explain waiiiii.

Been so sick,

Guess it has been 3 weeks already.

AND IM NOT GETTING BETTER.

FML

Been into dramas lately,

& I just finished this.

Recommended by chew.

Hahaha Lol. dk if he finished yet,

but I finished within a day.

See, my name is progirl.

Finished this too! Bought it at the store,

because Im seriously just too bored.

AND THIS.

Stupid jayfeimao ask me to watch this.

And i can only see one episode perday.

But oh well,

I guess it allows me to look forward to the next ep everyday? (:

I miss my girlfriends so much.

Staying at home sucksjustsomuch.

But I guess its alright?

Going Malacca for a short trip w aussiepeeps on friday.

Cant wait though.

Just so hope that my mooooood will turn for the better.

So much on my mind nowadays

不管我怎麼逃避

似乎記憶只停留在那一天

I guess I keep thinking too much about how we used to be

Such that I'm neglecting the present.

Oh yeah, besides that

Quarrelled with the lim today.

Sigh, dk what to say about us.

We bicker everyday because we care too much.

So I guess bickering is our way of communicating?

*figure*

Latenightinsomnia

2012-01-09T01:59:00.002+08:00

Don't know why I can't seem to fall asleep :(

Sadgirl1993.

Went for veto and jon's pop ystd!

So happy for them.

But seriously,

Armyboys really damn smelly.

Feel like staying home for the week.

Cause momo ask me to cook for sharonsee

Haha.

So I guess I'm gonna cook for the family tomorrow?!

#likeamaid.

Gonna plan for bkk trip w thebestfriendof14years.

Haha hope momo goes as well?!

Maybe Irene too ^^

Anyway so

Mojojojo lost a bet t me today!

YES!

每一个人的身旁都有一个李大仁

2012-01-07T01:05:00.002+08:00

If anyone watched the drama

In time with you.

I guess all of you can't help to agree that

Beside every girl/guy there's always a best friend of opp sex?

Some people are lucky that they marry/date their best friend.

And to some people

These people may only be best friends forever.

When I say that, it doesn't mean any guygirlgaylesbian whom you call BFF

But in your heart there can only be one BFF that yknow of.

No doubt, I have this BFF in mind heart soul whatever.

But yes, he isn't and will not be my future bf/soulmate.

I can fall in love w other guys but still this BFF is v impt t me.

Guess you guys might be curious but no,

Not disclosing who he is.

I'm sure he'll read this post since I proclaimed him as my BFF

But, no, not gonna boost his ego, and he'll surely say,

Bet you're talking about guy A B C.

He just simply dont have enough confidence to feel that Im talking about him I guess

Haha.

But yeah,

I dedicate this post to you.

Setting aside our unhappy memories, setting aside how we know each other,

And all the past (includes whatever that happen before 2012) aside.

I'm just thankful to have you around.

I guess no one can care for me so unconditionally,

Protect me with all your might.

Guess you're this BFF to me because

I can tell you everything? And guess you tell me everything too, *presumed*

Guess you love me like a sister, and allow me to talk to you without any motive nor pressure.

I can talk t you, call you cute names and even get angry with you when I want to

But I know you'll never leave

Even when you give me the WTF face.

I can rely on you, I can sit like an uncle, totally have no signs of female spirit in me,

Act like a boy, and even tell you discreet and private stuff, ask you to buy pad for me,

Guess no matter how you hate it you'll still help me.

Although I make you angry all the time, I know you'll always forgive me.

Thankyewforbeingbymyside.

I know even if I cry, you may laugh but you'll still hand me tissue :( haha.

Although there's alot about you that I dislike

But I got that figured out.

You won't be my boyfr, you won't be my soulmate. Except for reminding

I guess there's nothing I can do.

So I shall love everything about you that's perfect

And ignore everything that's not.

Cause,

Even if you fall in love with some other woman someday

And you tell me who she is, I guess it wouldn't matter

Unless she's some bitxh haha.

Sincerelyiloveyouwithallmymight! ^^

Anyway , going to Vto&Jon's POP later

With Jo, and jojo and Jeremy and Jamie wtf all the Js haha!

And gid and fendi and dearestlezzie !

Haha clique reunite!

Camwhoring session I guess?!

And jasmine kelvin will be there too.

Aphrillis should go! And alynn&yk?! And many others.

Tmrw really like whole singapore go floating bay.

Ahahahah somemore need tickets ! Whatthehell!

Everyone is even twitting about POP.

Oh ya, and this guy.

That I may see tmrw

..............

Still hope for the best for you.

Gluck ^^

And and aftmathhhhhh me and jojo gna go and eat w

Awesome peeps.

Ahahahaha wonder if we'll eat tw food tmrw!

Guess if we go for k session

Ahmengchew gayjaybao Aaron and Henry will send us to

Some hospital for hurting out eardrums w monotonous voices hahahaha.

It kills.

2012-01-05T01:52:00.002+08:00

Thought I could handle this better.

Thought I wouldn't regret saying things I shouldn't.

But I guess I still did.

I still miss you anyway.

I'm just tired that I did.

Guess you're the only guy that can make me excited over your text.

How I like talking to you all night long.

I hate this feeling.

Glimpse of twentytwelve.

2012-01-04T00:15:00.005+08:00

HAPPY2012EVERYONE!
So here's how i spent the 1st moment of my 2012.
With awesome peepo!
I must really say.
That I feel so blessed to have them with me throughout these few years in my life.
My best girls like Jo & Wan.
And my dearests like Joanne&Siu.
Not to forget the most important person that watched me, and walked with me through
the 16th-18th years in my life,
Thankyou Weiliang.
For being my confidante, and for lending me a shoulder to lean on,
and a place to hide whenever I need some time alone.
Bestobruthaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazxzxzxzx. *love*

Not to forget how awesome weiliang actually remember that
i told him how much i wanted a beads earpiece *kiss*

So. everyday was a dress down day with Jojo cause Im sickgirl1993.
Its been a week and my throat still hurts like FIREBURNINGONTHEDANCEFLOOR#

Went out with zy ! on 29th? Haha
thanks for the awesomepawsome present bro!
Hope i'll recover in time for our kbox session then (wink)

Went out with theBFF on Xmasday.
Accompanied him to shop at his Fav A&F (xcludingzara)
and he bought a shirt. WTF SO EXP #FML
But haha, glad to see that thebff is happy.
Dear bff, thankyewforplayingahugeroleinmy2011.
Thank you for being forever there for me whenever Im upset.
When I see you call, text, or whatsapp me.
MEISHSOHAPPY.
I'll always remember times when we call each other every night.
and talk about crappy stuff for motherflong and i dont even know whats the main subject.
Talking t you, is like something to look forward to whenever i come home at night.
Because I know i can tell you every shit thing that happen t me in the day.
and you wont mind me complaining about them.
Although shit things do happen.
But always know, that if you ever need me.
IM HERE *raisehand*

HOW CAN I FORGET TO MENTION HOW MUCH I ENJOYED
MY XMAS WITH MY LOVED ONES?
@WYLIMMM @Joannejtyy @aphrillis @dingdongyh @lovepeaceetc.
LOVECHUUUUGIRLS.

OH and i really do ENJOY AND MISS THE tw trip with my dearest girls.
And how i met those awesome people along.
And we're having MOVIEGETAWAY THIS WEEKEND.
Cant wait
@jayjbtan @teemingchew @intendus @henryhktan @joannejtyy

SEE YOU THEN
LOVERS (:

Goodbye 2011, and hello 2012

2011-12-31T12:27:00.003+08:00

I guess my 2011,

Is filled with millions of ups and downs

Met many great and important people in my life,

Lose some of them,

But still, every thing is a experience that brings us to the next chapter of our lives?

Sometimes I really wonder,

And now I'm thankful of the people

That are still present in my life.

Broke up with the love of my life in May,

Went to Aussie for my degree course in July with my

Forever Dearest Girl!

Met so many awesome people like

Nadine, Edward, Ken, Min, Andre, Alex, Deeger, Kelvin, Shinyl

Jordan, Phooiting and many others.

Had the most awesome road trip to Margaret river with all of them.

Guessed I would never have imagined that I'd really leave

All my friends, family, and the one I'll really ever love that much behind

And go ahead with studying abroad?!

But I must really thank Dr Zach for taking care of me despite his hectic schedule in school!

Thank you bestie! For always looking out for me,

Taking care of me whenever I'm unwell, helping me with my projects.

If there must be someone that I'll like to thank this year!

That person would be you! Thank you for all that you've done for me!

Because this space wouldn't be enough to list them all out.

I hope that you'll get a better girl, and achieve greater in your academics in 2012?! ^^

Went to hongkong for 4 times?

With Irene, with Lester, with Wan/Jo and with mum.

Haha. Went Taiwan with Jo & wan and met

Awesome and funny friends like

Jay, teeming, Aaron, Henry, Harrison and (sorry I can't rmb the last one)

Party like hell.

Of course 2011 was filled with many of lover & my memories

But some of them are bad ones?

Lost a number of friends whom I really had for a very long time

But i guess losing was a part of life

And I'm over it.

Because everyone have their own set of thinking

And everyone knows themselves best.

It's just better to respect one another I guess.

In 2011,

One of my uncle passed away?

Which reminded me how fragile life is,

And how time don't wait for anyone.

Happy birthday mummy, be it on the last day of 2011,

Or the first day of 2012,

Even if you're of that age for 24 hours,

You're still the prettiest and the wisest woman on earth( at least to me )

It has been hard on you in 2011 and I hope 2012 is a better year for you!

I guess one of the worst memories of 2011

Was breaking up with Lester lim?

Haha,but yeah I'm glad I'm officially over it

New year new beginning?!

Hahaha.

But no matter what,

Thanks lezzie! It has been so awesome being with you for 2 years

Loving you, missing you, texting and hearing your voice all day long

For the 2 years of my life.

I'm indeed contented, and there's nth to regret about getting together

Because every relationship is an experience.

But I still hope I can totally forget about old bitch since 2011 is over.

And she can finally stop haunting my life and ruining mine.

Cause in the 2 years im with you.

It seems like you always have such girls in your life that like to ruin mine?

Happy for you that you're happy now! And I shall use one of my new year wish for you.

Hope that in 2012, you'll straighten out your thinkings and think more about your future

And what's really the best for you. Hope that you'll still stay healthy, and fit? And stop making your parents worry!

No matter what, you're my confidante, my best friend, my brother, and the person I like to bully most.

Still I love you weiliang korkor, thanks for being my family, thanks for being the person I trust most. Thanks for taking care of me, and protecting me without fail.

I love you!

2011, ended

And I'm still happy that my dearest girlfriends are still with me including SP! Ellie! Ying! Yitian and my dearests

@aphrillis @dingdongyh @lovepeaceetc @michellehoho @repeatinscenes

@suicidesundae @luiting @joannejtyy @wylimmm @heartrunswild

I love you girls! And I always will.

Thanks to my dearest bestest gay friends in 2011

@sinisterkills @gideonrajjj @foongvt @lfc_neo @lesterwl @edwinpulpy

I love you guys! Thanks for always being here, and being forever here.

Thanks S, for all the calls you've been calling me.

And still, I hope and wish you all the best in your POP!

I guess I just listed out all the important memories I have in 2011?

And hi 2012,

I really hope that you have better things to amaze me! And continue bringing colours into my life.

Love you all,

And happy 2012 (:

In everything, we must have gained something .

2011-12-29T04:09:00.004+08:00

Just watched finished in time with you.

Wtffffff

CBL is !!!!!! Damn mr perfect!

Haha I guess dramas will always be the only way

To cheer me up?!

Teehee.

I agree so much to one of the lines in the drama

In every experience, in every story, in every chapter

We will always gain something.

Be it good memories

Be it understanding ourselves and the other

Be it changing for the better.

No matter what,

It will be something that shaped us and bring us nearer to our future.

Sometimes I guess everyone do wish to have a bf like CBL in the show?!

He can be your best friend, he can be your bf.

He can be there to listen to your heartfelt words when no one else can.

Sighhhhh, I guess this only happens in dramas?!

Because in reality, none of these fairytale existed.

But honestly, it will still be a dream worth dreaming.

As the end of 2011 is near,

I guess no one would look forward to 2012?!

Because if it's the end of the world,

Maybe I'll really be forever 18 *wink*

As I looked into my wardrobe wondering what to wear to sleep.

I gazed forlornly at your clothes stacked at the corner,

And then I realized.

It's time to stop wearing them to remind me of you,

One day I'll still have to walk on my own.

You'll always be my confidante,

Just not my mr perfect (:

You knew.

2011-12-27T03:38:00.002+08:00

You knew it all along.

But I don't really know what you want.

Please just leave me alone,

Don't pretend that you actually care so much

When you don't really care.

I had enough of all these nonsense

And I had enough of playing guessing games.

I told you, don't try to tell me I didn't.

Im gonna reach my limits of continuing with all these shit.

And sooner or later.

I'll start hecking

And then, it wouldnt affect me

Any single bit.

I believed that I've tried.

To cover up for everything that I've not done, when you did.

But obviously you just don't feel it

Or simply you're taking me for granted.

Slowly I'm feeling exhausted over this whole thing.

And when I decided to let it all go,

I won't turn back.

Actually I'm getting sick of this shit and

Yeah, guessed this isn't what I really want.

If people value you in their life

They won't sit there and wait for things to happen.

They'll make it happen.

And probably because I don't feel that from you

As compared to then, when you first did.

Obviously,

I don't think I felt anything now.

And probably,

Just like what I've told you.

I just don't feel so. And I'm sure that my judgement isn't inaccurate?

Am gonna shut myself

2011-12-24T15:34:00.003+08:00

Guess I'll be shutting out from all the dramas

For a few days?! Or at least a week.

I better hide back in sentosa.

Where I can view and relax in the peace and tranquil surrounding [:

Guessed it would be better for me

Than to live and stay together with people who don't understand me at all.

Sometimes I guess you guys don't need me.

Not in the past, not now, never.

Since all of you can have each other's company.

I actually feel better whenever I'm alone.

Or when I'm away.

That's true, these words never meant to be hurtful.

Since we can't even see eye to eye to what all of us to individually

I guess it's always better to leave each other and do things out of our sight

So that we feel happier.

I mean people do hang out and stay together because we keep each other happy

And we're important to one another.

Now that this isn't the case anymore.

What's the whole point on living together

When no one is happy?!

I used to grab hold of some things which I felt was very important to me

It's like keeping things together even when you knew letting your hands go

Would make everything fall apart.

But somehow I grew out of that thinking ,

And I gave up.

Do whatever that you like, as long as you guys are happy

I don't have enough energy nor enough brain juice to keep this going.

I give up totally.

I just hope that whatever you guys wanna do, the final decision is always that

You guys are happier that way.

You know,

The suckiest thing is,

Whats the point of having tons of money to spend?!

And what's the point of knowing people from similar backgrounds?!

When we can't even keep the simpliest thing intact together.

When bonds are broken, when happiness is no longer present

What's the point of having so much material wealth or things

When nothing keeps you happy?!

Attitude, is never based on how wealthy a person is.

It's because I respect people who respect me and my family

When they cross the line.

Im not gonna stand there and do nothing

Yes,I don't deny that my attitude is horrible.

But arguments and pressure is never a way to teach someone or wanting them to be better

Putting the blame on one another isn't the way out

And eventually

Everyone started pushing the blame to me all the time.

Why not others?!

And just me? Isit because you guys have been doing so for such a long period of time

You guys wanna keep doing that?!

Continue then.

I'm tired

I'm done here

I give up

And I quit.

Do whatever you like.

Say whatever you want.

Because one day when I finally can't take it any longer.

You won't see me here anymore.

2011-12-24T00:44:00.002+08:00

Dear S,

Thanks for being here.

Despite the fact that you're tired.

Or the fact that you're having a bad day.

Thanks for being here when I need you.

When I felt so down,

When I'm at my lowest point,

You're here.

Thanks BFF,

Am so lucky to have you here (L)

AMAZINGTRIPXDXDXD+ OVERDUED PICS.

2011-12-22T00:29:00.020+08:00

Firstly, Lemme wish my dearestgirllll

A HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYY DARLING ;D !

Thanks for always being here for meeeeee.

And for being a part and playing an important role in my journey.

Withoutttt all your help, your advices and your presence,

I know that life wouldnt be as great as it is for me now.

So glad that youre finally back from THAILANDDDDDD.

See you soon my lover xoxo.

Missed my dearest girls when Im away.

Then suddenly remembered that I didnt do any proper post for my birthday

*oopsy*

Here are the overdued pics.

And I didnt included any group shot just yet, cause its not with me yet ):

SADLY.

Thanks for the necklace that you guys gave meeeee.

Its so awesome cause I crave for this since x number of years ago.

And thanks to Apr, Aman, Alynn & Edwin for decorating the place for meeee.

Love you guys *blowhotkisses*

& My lovely chanel cupcakes.

ZOMG.

Love em max !

And @dingdongyh took so many pictures of my houseeeee.

Lovelovelove.

Reminds me that @joannejtyy & @wylimmm and I are supposed to swim there.

HIGIRLSSSSSS LETS GO SWIMMING NEXT WEEK ;D

Here's one lovely picture for @NadineeeT.

Hi love, i know its been hard on you while being alone in Perth for xmas & new year.

But do remember that we'll never forget you and youre forever close [:

TAKE A PEEP @ YOUR MAIL BOX SOON.

ILOVEYOU!

Went dining @ Rosmarino with dad mum and bro today.

HMMMM i guess they weren't really fascinated by the food.

And to me, I guess its yeah, just alright.

Not really that fantastic anyway.

But honestly I love their food presentation (:

Now that IM BACK

I feel like ive gain alot of weight.

Ugh.

Time for diet again.

#LIKESERIOUSLY.

FINALLY , PICTURES FROM OUR AWESOMETAIWANTRIP.

I love these 2 girls LIKE MADDDDDDD!

Honestly, holidays with them is like @#$%^&*() GREAT.

Happyhappygirl1993.

We took flight from SG-HKG and then HKG-TPE.

Seems like the whole world is in taiwan/hongkong now?

Met Von, Diana & Yonghao there.

Awesome max :D:D:D

&&&&

i actually saw loverrrrrrr.

Actually didnt intend to,

but I guess after I saw him,

My heart still melt, and my eyes still went into starstruck and heartshape mode.

I miss him soooooooo much ):

If only I had more time,

that was, if only.

On the first day we went to modern toilet for dinner.

Extreme crave for the milk steamboat which xiaoyu ate the other time :D

And then i took the two hellokitty lovers to the hello kitty restaurant.

And both of them camwhored like NO TOMORROW.

But honestly,

who cares?

Im supposed to be a tourist (:

Went for teppanyakiiii.

Which explains whyyyyy MY DIET CHAIN BROKE.

oh sigh *looks at tummy*

NO MORE FLAT TUMMY.

SIGHHHHHH.

And we ATE STREET FOOOD for dinner on a particular night.

Because we wanted to experience dinner on eating all the famous street food hahaha.

Went LUXY on a saturday night.

Was so awesome.

Got to know a few people from Singapore.

Its like a cool right.

Know people from your home country in taiwan.

What the hell?

But yeahhhhh theyre superfriendlyandawesome guys (:

Went to the dimsum restaurant with them, where Hwm brought us to the other time

after we went to visit lover XD
Oh not to mentioned i brought jo to eat my favvvvvvvvv TW STREET FOOD.

(as shown below XD)

And looook ,lover's house has blue xmas lights.

MELOVEMELOVE !

And not to mentioned the feminine hwm,

hahahah look at how much he's enjoying using his HTC phone!

He even has whatsapp!!!!!

Hahah missed them all so muchXD

Met up with QC as well :D

Glad to know that shes doing great over there (:

hi loverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Imissyousomuchhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Am so glad to see that youre doing well

and youre fine (:

Even if its just for that moment,

even if its just for that eye contact.

Even when you dont have to say anything.

Im just glad, and contented

even if its just for that second,

everything in my memory starts to get back.

I miss you so much.

I guess birthday wishes really do come true sometimes (:

Went leofoo village on the last day.

ALL OF US WERE DAMN SICK

BUT HONESTLY.

WE DONT REALLY CARE.

WE STILL HAD AN AWESOME TIME.

AND WE DONT EVEN FEEL LIKE GOING HOME.

Merryxmas in advance people.

And hello.

@lovepeaceetc @dingdongyh @aphrillis @suicidesundae @repeatingscenes @michellehoho
@lesterwl @NadineeeT @luiting @adriantanbp , Irene Lau, Zhan Yi Lim, Shawn Teo, Ng Chuan Hao, please get your xmas pressie from me.

THANKS XD

And to you:

Maybe you don't really understand,

And who knows if you'll see this or not.

I didn't regret deleting, and I didn't regret saying those stuff

Because, you don't really care, that's all I can say.

If people really want you in their life they'll do something about it

But whether or not, I am important as a friend to you,

It has already been clear to me, judging by your actions.

You once said: sometimes people need to distance yourself so that they will appreciate your presence

I feel that too.

And I wouldn't want to care so much, when seriously you no longer cares.

I felt that I tried and I did my best,

But honestly I don't think that I deserve this

I guess people do come and go in our lives

And no one stays forever.

If you ever need me, I'm still there for sure.

It's just that I don't wanna continue worthless and stupid conversations

Where I don't get replies all the time and i am expected to give replies all the time.

Honestly, that's not my cut.

I'm not there for people to talk to me when they feel like it

And not talk when they don't feel like it.

You can give me as many explanations.

That that's not what you meant,

And you can give me all the crap that you don't turn to me only when you're bored.

Because honestly I don't care anymore,

And whether its because you're bored, you're free or whether you feel like talking to me.

I'm not interested t know.

It wouldn't make any difference anyway because you can get a new BFF/ you can talk to someone else every night easily, because youre not short of such people beside you?!

Do whatever you want, and say whatever you like.

Because I'm not hanging around to hear things that I don't wanna hear.

I dont deserve being attitude for, or hearing those cold/angsty replies

When I did nothing except for not replying.

I guess I'm starting to learn the trick from you.

I don't feel like replying, I don't know what to reply, I'm tired, I love breaking promises

And I should reply when I'm free and bored and when I feel like it (:

Best of both worlds

2011-12-16T11:26:00.002+08:00

Greetings from taiwannnnnn [: !

Haha the two girls beside me

Sleeping like a loggggggg.

Teehee gonna go shopping and to the beach later? Hahahaha.

It's singer though but still bearable ^^

Lover went to malaysia todayyyy

Heard that he's in foul mood . @@

Should I consider myself lucky because I won't be seeing him this trip?

Hahahaha.

I miss him much though!

But I hope he's coping well with the stress he's having now :(

Awww I feel like giving him a hug :(

Sigh.

I ask you not t talk t me,

You really didn't talk t me.

I guess both you and me knew that

By cutting off contacts, and everything

Would be the best option for the both of us?!

You can continue your life w her or any others.

Because I guess they could accept the way you are

And they won't try to change you.

I'll still catch your back no matter when.

As long as you need me, I'm there.

It's just that we cannot create a future together

Because we don't belong with each other.

How much I hope that we are

But we aren't.

We won't lead to any compromisation.

Because we don't want to give in to any of the expectations we have of each other

I don't look down on your friends,

It's just that I hope that they can turn for the better as well.

And not the opposite of you turning for the worse.

No matter what, I still wish for the best for you.

Don't always act rashly.

Think before you do anything (:

When the night goes down.

2011-12-14T01:07:00.002+08:00

Going to Taiwan in a few days!

Happy that I can spend time with my lovers

Excited that actually so many of my friends are in tw

And will be going w us Muahaha!

Can't wait to feast on good food again!

Seriously,

I kinda miss you.

Though I don't say it, don't show it.

But when I really think about it,

I find it do true.

Sometimes

I ask myself,

What is it that life can offer to me.

Cause no matter what. I do now

It doesn't seem that I'm happy.

The fact that I'm leaving to Perth soon.

The fact that I can't possibly be seeing you everyday.

These are some things that I've really been wondering.

What actually keeps me happy?!

Growing up.

2011-12-12T03:14:00.005+08:00

Thought of blogging something interesting today

Since I cant fall asleep XD

Peekaboo to EPIC FAIL us.

Muahaha took this on Jan.

When i come across this picture.

I suddenly think about how cui i use to look.

still cui now, but got improvement right!

How I grow up.
And I really miss lover.
Hahaha at least I kept the picture of him wearing the tshirt I gave him right.
XD

Zara teeee! [: Seriously, he's still as charming as ever.

But I do prefer how he look when he's younger ):

I miss you !

And me being like a crazyfangirl over him signing my board.

Asking me to talk more.

SERIOUSLY.

He'll regret after writing that man.

that im actually that noisy.

Sigh.

4 years..

AND HOW I GREW UP OVER THE YEARS.

Haha from first love till now.

Its been likeeeeeeeee, 8 years?

Yeah man.

Met FL since I was like P5?

And we had so many On-Off On-Off breakups.

And flings/bfgfs in the midst and

when we really broke up in sec4?

From friends to lovers to foes.

Hahaha.

But honestly, I know we no longer detest one another.

Its just that,

if two lovers can still be friends, it just goes to show that they never really loved one another.

I guess the hurt for both of us was really too deep?

And I admit that I was too naive and childish to handle a relationship

thats why it turn out so badly?
Guess we were both once happy and thats all that matters?

And we're still happily pursuing what we want in life now

and we're happy for each other that we've both found better partners in life?

Haha i cant believe i just uploaded a picture of me, bff and ellie when we were younger.

I remember that we took it at a primary school gathering in 2009,

Where both me and fl went to that gathering after patching up HAHA.

Then I found the love of my life after that,

where he's my bestfriend, my lover, my boyfriend, my brother, my family.

Except that he's no longer my lover/boyfriend.

He'll still be my brother, my bestfriend and my family.

Haha I really enjoyed how I can do the shittiest and lamest thing with him.

And how i met him for the first time after 2 years and wonder

why is there such an attractive boy on earth, but now i beg to differ my statement then.

And how I was NOT attracted to him at all in the first place.

AND HOW HE FORGET HOW WE FIRST MET.

It has been 5 years since I first saw this assholeboy,

and how he turned from xiaobengxiaoboyboy, with super fair skin

to handsomemachoandlaobeng weiliang.

How he quarrelled with me, smile to me, and give me that cheeky face and sleepy face.

How he snore super loudly and make me and mummy laugh all the time.

How he eat damn fast, and then rub his tummy and sigh to say he's full already.

How he help me massage my back and my leg when im tired from school/work.

How we always eat goodfood and feel damn happy after eating.

How he cook for me keke (man who cook are damn (Y)).

How we go to so many countries together.

How he allow me too know so many of his awesome friends !

and how he ditch me and make me suicidal and depressed.

Hahaha.

BUT NO MATTER WHAT.

I STILL LOVE YOU XOXO.

But still,

at least Im happy now (:

With all the attention I get from my lovely friends.

How I went to perth along with my 12 years bestfriend and met more friends along the way!

I admit that Im a lucky girl.

I have parents and brother that loves and dote on me.

That provides me with whatever I want.

I love how dad always brings me for good food everywhere, and provide me with an education that Ive always wanted.

I love how I can communicate with my mum, and allow me to tell her everything, when I cant tell others about it.

And how she supports everything I do, be it beauty courses, stuff and whatever shit.

When I need her shes there.

And a brother that love and dote on me IN EVERY WAY.

Seriously. I appreciate everything he do for me.

I think I must've done alot of good deeds in my previous 10 lives to deserve a brother like him.

Even though I treat him super badly.

HE TREAT ME LIKE JEWEL/GEM/DIAMOND/CRYSTAL whatever man.

He's really super awesome.

Muahaha.

And I know i can rely on him NO MATTER WHAT.

Sorry bro, you gotta feed your sis for the rest of your life [:

And I met my bestest friends in poly.

The triple A in my life man.

Seriously.

I think Ive got affinity with people starting with A.

See adrian, then alynn april amanda.

ALL THE PEOPLE I LOVE !

Then I met two Irene(s) which are the bestest sisters I can ever find.

SERIOUSLY.

WHAT MORE SHOULD I EXPECT FROM LIFE?

OR HOW BETTER LIFE CAN BE ?

When ive got all the people i love in my life now with me?

Looking back at all these pictures.

I look at how i look over the years.

WTF.

WHY ALL SO CUI!

But nevermind.

Pictures are best memories.

See.

At least they allow me to look back right.

Boring days

2011-12-12T02:22:00.002+08:00

I realise how boring it is when it comes to weekdays

Oh boredddddd :(

Better hope Taiwan is fun next week! [:

Wanted to have a naise dinner w @lesterwl tomorrow

But then I doubt momo is gonna let me :(

Cause I'm having exams on tues!

So I shalllllll meet weiliang on tues to have dinner then :(

Before I go!

Means its gonna be a crappy Monday tomorrow !

Studying for exams, packing for holidays.

Ughhhhhhhh! BORINGzzzz.

Meeting the girls on Wednesday for dinner!

Happymaxmaxmaximum.

Swimming too I guess (;

Lifesgood!

I'm becoming fatter and fatter nowadays.

I ate like wtf much ytd while I'm out w my love

I totally ate like a lion man.

I ate half a sandwich from Longjohn then I ate like justacia!

Half bowl of rice for dinner

Omg!!!!

I thought I shall not eat today

But daddy tempt me w sashimi :(

So today I ate long beans w egg for lunch and sashimi for dinner

Sian :(

Look at my tummy growing :(

Dear tummy, can you not consume anything tomorrow :(

Pretty please !

Dear L,

Although we quarrel all the time

Although you make me angry most of the time.

Although you're the only person I'll ever hate in this world xcluding

The old bitxh and that fat bitxh.

I still enjoy quarrelling over dumb issues and continue spamming you

With sarcasm and compete with you over who's the boss here.

No matter what,

I know, and I can't deny that

As much as I hated you, and you hated me.

I can't be as happy with anyone else other than you.

I still want you in my life, and you're still my family.

I love how I can lie on your muscular arms and sleep through all the rides.

I love how ugly you look now with dark and thick eyebags and pimple face but still love seeing you smile

Because you'll always be cute in my eyes (:

Love how you protect me wherever I go.

Thanks for everything!

Empty promises.

2011-12-11T00:38:00.003+08:00

Feel like damn bored.

Cause BFF is at field camp :(

Sigh, not getting used to nights without phone calls and endless conversations

Going tw in less than a weeks time!

And omg! BFF is back on thur :( sigh!

Feeeeel so damn damn damn sian!

On the other hand

Had enough.

Truly enough.

You just simply don't care.

And you prove me so right.

You used to treat me like priority

Whenever I need you you'll always be there

It's just like she gets to call you all the time

Text you all the time and you're forever there.

Its enough, I've seen enough

Felt enough.

Don't tell me anymore about those shit.

I don't feel like listening to any of them anymore

Extremelycuteandhandsomeguy.

2011-12-10T23:21:00.005+08:00

Handsome boy say cannot post picture on facebook.
He say can post on blog.
So I just post lor.
Muahaha.

Sometimes I just wish that I dont have to go back to perth anymore.
I will miss all of them so much ):
Its been over a month since Im back.
And seriously I kept worrying that
time spent over here will never be enough for me.

Teehee.
Have been going out with les, gid & co, and my lovely girls ever so often.
The best thing is .
WE ALL HANG OUT TOGETHER.
(Y) (Y) (Y)
Love this feelinggggg.
I feel like Im the luckiest girl in the world to have everyone that I love around me :D
Teeheeeheeeeheeeeee.

Am so happy.
Cause I spent my 16, 17, and 18th BIRTHDAY with weiliang every year.
Thank youuuuuuuuuu lesterkorkor.

Thank you weiliang korkor for protecting me all the time.
When Im with you right, I feel that I can just totally relax and have fun cause I know youll be there for me no matter what comes (:
Thank you for always taking care of me like a big brother.
Love you much! You'll always be family to me !

PS: Thanks to your pervertic friend k.
Make all my friends scared.
If i see him again, you should know how a tigress will react (:
Oh not only him.
AND THAT A-HOLE GIRL WHO DARE TO DANCE WITH YOU INFRONT OF ME.
Make sure i dont see her before the tigress use her sharp claws (:

Anyway went Reb with Hua, Jo, Crystal, Gid, Jeremy, Jon, Jamie, Les & his friends yesterday (:
Haha had so much fun!

And I met up with siusiu and gid the other day.
Yay Am gonna meet the girls next week (L)

I wanna thank the girls for being here for me all the time.
Hanging out with you guys is too awesome alrrrrr.
Time passed too swiftly ):
I cant even grab hold of time yet ):
I'll miss all of you when Im away.
But no matter what.
Just wanna say I really love you all.
Love you guys for always being here beside me all the time.
Sigh ):

Shagged day.

2011-12-08T01:21:00.002+08:00

Shagged day today.
Went for driving early in the morning .
LIKE WTF 8AM.
I was so lazy,
I just tied up my hair.
and put on my knitted pullover from my 2 dearest girls (Jo & Siu (L))
and left !
Urgh, I guess driving manual cars would be like SUPER SUCKY?
But whateverrrrrr.
Im so gonna get my license and buy my VW!
Sick of TRANSPERTH all the time.
WASTING MY TIME
MISSING THE BUS.
WALKING TIME SUCKS TO THE MAX.
UNDER THE HOT SUMMER SUN IN PERTH
NO NO
IM NOT BECOMING TANNED.

Anyway, was thinking about some stuff.
Andddddd.
I cant decide yet.
Shall not disclose anything cause its not confirmed (:
But oh well.
Dont think I'll disclose anything either.
Just work hard towards it and then decide later :D

I need $$$$$.
Hahahhaha.
My eyes goes $.$
I need money for so much stuff man.
):
Theres so many things to do yet so lil time.
Sigh.
I SHOULDNT HAVE CHOSEN AUST RIGHT.
I KNOW ):

Love and Life.

2011-12-06T02:52:00.004+08:00

Fruitful week !
Spend time with family, friends and myself.
Love shutting myself up in the gym thinking about issues alone.
Muahahaha.
Its not emo kay.
Its having QUALITY TIME with myself :D

I miss this girl!
WHY HAVENT ANYONE TOLD ME THAT THIS SHOOT WAS ACTUALLY THAT BAD?
I looked as if people owe me a million
dollars man
Take care in thailand dear girl (L)

Went Kbox with tekongboy on saturday.
We sing until like wanna die.
OMG.
And this evil guy dont allow me to go home !
MUST DIE DIE SING UNTIL HAPPY THEN CAN GO HOME.
MENTAL TORTURE.
And he keep asking me to sing and this stupid guy fall asleep !
WHILE ASKING ME TO SING.
Anyway i wont be seeing him for weeeeks!
Take care @ field camp,
and tune in to more horror stories? (:

Haha went to watch twilight too!
Met up with veto, gid & joanne [:
TEEHEE. MISSED THEM ALL SOOOOO MUCH!

Met Joanne for risotto on friiiiii !
Teeheeee.
We went pasta mania.
And i feel that their risotto isnt that bad at all.
But its only for xmas !
So better try before they take it down the menu (:

Sometimes I really wish, I know what i want.
And I can stop being so fickle minded.
Seriously.
):

Happy fruit hahaha

2011-12-05T02:43:00.002+08:00

Thank you Kai xin guo!

You make me happy everyday.

You seem to be able to make me smile all the time.

Thanks for hearing me out!

Haha I guess the next 2 weeks without you would be boring?!

I'll miss you !!! (: [waiting for this line only right! Don't think I don't know!]

Saturdays with you are fun and awesome.

I shall allow you to have the opportunity to flirt as many girls as you like

When we can't talk k!

You've been waiting for this chance right! Hahaha!

Thanks.

For ending my day with a smile everyday!

MY GIRLS

2011-12-03T01:25:00.002+08:00

Still remember this picture.
And how fun it was going down to the tracks.
The scenery is just so beautiful.
People often say
Pictures paints a thousand words.
I cant help but to agree more.

Met up with my girls recently.
Alynn, Apr, Aman.
Irene, Joanne, Siu and Mich :D

Im sucha happy igirl naoo.
ALthough I cant help to agree that theres alot of things that adds up to
my unhappiness and my angsty mood recently.
But I guess this is LIFE?

Cant wait for my taiwan trip with my girls in 2 weeks time :D
HAPPY HAPPY GIRL.

Gonna meet S tomorrow.

And Weiliang on sunday :D
I wanna go USS with weiliang next week though (:
YAYNESS.

Perfect planning.
Oh did i mentioned Im starting on my driving lessons already?
IM SO GONNA WET MY PANTS ):

I miss all my photoshoots.
Been super lazy nowadays ):
Hmmmmmm.
Time to work and find money and find some foooood to eat ;D

Im sorry.

2011-12-02T01:31:00.002+08:00

How many goodbyes.
is ever enough.
to finally let each other go?

I had enough.
Long ago.
Please just set me free.
Dont pull me so near to you,
yet keeping me near you to feel the ache again.

Once is already enough.
I cant take them any longer.

B*TCH

2011-12-02T00:59:00.003+08:00

I guess Ive always been polite to you ?
I guess Ive always been kind enough?
To tell myself that actually youre not that bad.

CAN YOU JUST STOP IT?!
STOP ALL YOUR DRAMAS.
STOP ALL YOUR SHIT.
YOUVE RUINED MY LIFE BAD ENOUGH.
CAN YOU JUST EFFING STOP IT.

YOU DONT HAVE THE RIGHTS.
NONE AT ALL.
YOU INTERFERE IN ANY OF MY AFFAIRS.

WHAT?
BEING A BOYFRIEND SNATCHER IS NOT ENOUGH HUH?!
STOP ALL YOUR BULLSHIT MAN.

SORRY.
I dont degrade myself like you alright.
SLUT.

2011-11-29T02:07:00.002+08:00

Dear Zach.

Please enjoy your road trip

And stop being a naggy old granny

And nag at me all the time

Enjoy marg river and Albany!

I would have requested you to bring some

Fresh oyster back for me to savour on!

But I know you can't!

Hahahaha.

Don't say that I am heartless okay!

Stop playing those stupid emo songs

That makes you emonemoelmo and elmonemoemo

Don't always think too much and read too much in things I say or write okay!

Sleep more! Think less (:

Don't get jealous cause Irene and me is enjoying our weekday getaway at sentosa cove hahaha.

Welcome you back to Singapore on the third!

Don't say I'm not nice to you okay!

See this is specially dedicated to you.

Don't say I no heart/ never mentioned you

Or you're having bad luck (:

End of a quote for you!

Find happiness in everything you do.

Treat unhappy moments as a way of life

That way, you'll always be happy (:

(:

2011-11-28T03:50:00.002+08:00

When people truly wants to be in your life

You don't need to do anything

Because they won't sit there hoping for something to happen

They'll do something or take actions to show it.

I feel like I'm a lucky girl.

Thanks S for calling me everyday without fail!

Making sure that I'm not bored

Even when he's already super sleepy.

He'll still stay awake just to talk to me.

Listening to my problems and rantings.

Talking about our views on life to bullshitz.

Although you like gelats ice cream

I still feel that cold rockkkkk & stone is better okay!

Tsk (:

Thanks for treating me to ice cream and Bringing me for fooood

Sinful after eating all those fatty food that you ordered!

Although I don't agree with your views that you don't like to buy stuff that other people like!

Tsk tsk! Weird thinking k!!!!

Thanks for being a good listenerrrrrr!

And sorry for what happen that day :(

I'll make it up to you next week then ^^

11.59PM HAPPY20THBIRTHDAYYYYY !!!

2011-11-27T20:42:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY WEILIANGGGGGGG !

I know you're stress recently
sometimes I feel like im damn dumb,
Thats why Im even still talking to you.

Thanks for being a part in my life.
Thanks for always being the apply of my eye.
I dont need to find you anywhere.
Because youre here,
right inside my heart
Youve a special place here.
Thanks for hurting me,
and allowing me to know that life
is not as beautiful as it seems to be.
There'll always be times where
we have to be strong and we have to move on.
But no matter what.
Im here for you.
Right here.
As and when you need me.

Love you much. [:

2011-11-24T01:34:00.002+08:00

Maybe I really love you.

Maybe I really miss you.

But we both know that,

We'll never be.

We were never meant for each other.

We don't belong together.

As much as I hope we are

As much as I hope that we could turn back time

As much as I hope you were the guy I once knew right from the beginning.

But we know,

It can never happen.

You were never meant to be you from the start.

Missed you, the old you.

The one that I love.

Ever so deeply.

Too bad you're gone,

And now my heart is broken and empty.

I miss you my love, but now you've disappeared.

And I can't find you anywhere near.

Blessed birthday. [:

2011-11-24T00:25:00.002+08:00

Had an awesome birthday just with my familyyyyy.
Before the real party starts on friday [: Muahahaha.
Thank you mummmmm bringing me to earth,
Thank you dad for loving me and doting on me.
Thank you bro, for being my brother and for always taking care of meeeee.
Ate like a COW yesterday.
I think I ate an elephant.
I CANT EVEN COUNT THE AMOUNT OF FOOOD I ATE.
I K RRRRRR.
But birthday man .
Once in a year [:
Teehee.
Giving myself a chance to spoil myself. Muahaha.

Thank you weiliang, for celebrating my birthday for me on the 21st.
Although there are alot of unhappy stuff that happened that day.
But Im still glad you took time off to celebrate with me (:
Thank you for the lovely present [: !
&
Thank you for sending me home tday (:

Dear wildboar,
Thank you for calling me everyday w/o fail (:
Thank you for remembering every little detail.
(:
Thanks for everything, and for brightening my day with your texts in the morning,
and your phonecalls at night (:
Appreciate them alot.
See you on sat ! [;

Miss you.

2011-11-20T02:44:00.005+08:00

Had fun shopping with dearie today.
Its GIRLSDAYOUT YO;D
Spend like water too.

Brought dearie home, and spent time camwhoring and
be fascinated. Ha Ha Ha.
Did some planning for partying on friday.

Spend the last one hour with adrian cause,
We feel like buying a yacht,
only if daddy allows ;D
Hahaha.
Which I think he'll be fickle-minded like me ! (:
The conversation between me and bro is like epic funny.
A: Eh, why not call the yacht Serenity, use your name? Its a real word, meaning peaceful & tranquil
S: So exclusive? Dont want leh, got mixture can.
A: name it century (dad's company name) princess
S: Er? No. century egg sounds better
A: what?! then if my friends come, how i intro? hey, theres my yacht there, century egg??!
S: Oi name is BOND(the rest half of dad's company name) 007
A: Bond street?! Hahaha
S: OI COMBINATION LA . ADRENITY. COOLMAX
A: The name sucks, century egg sounds better
S: Really century egg?!
A: Names are quite hard to think, we go learn how to sail a yacht first

Hahaha. ARGON IS SO COOL.
Oh ya we did wanted to create AR for Argon hahahhaha.

Hahaha.
CANT WAIT FOR MYLOVELYBUBBLYDEAREST BROTHER to be backkkkkkkkkkk.
& My hopes&dreams will come true.

MEANWHILE I SHALL GO JOGGING AROUND COVE WITH BFF.
SO THAT WE CAN AIM TO BE NEIGHBURS IN THE FUTURE HAHAHHAHAHAH.

*side track*

I miss you dear.
Miss you so muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Happy happy 26st birthday @ 2011.2011!
The thought of not seeing you hurts like hellllll.
But oh well,
I guess fairytales always have abrupt/bad endings in reality [:

No matter what you think,
how you feel.
Or maybe you'd have forgotten.
Its alright.
I know.
Pictures are the best form of memories.
And no matter what,
I'll keep these memories safe with me.
The fact that I miss you hurts so badly tears are falling anytime.

Its been so long since I last met you
& Im really really wondering how you are doing.

I guess memories are always bittersweet.
They'll be bitter times, as well as sweet ones.
But thanks,
for everything.
For being here when Im insecured, for being there when Im down.
For being appreciative, and for showing me that you care.
Deep down I know,
those moments were sincere,
Those things you said/do were real.
Even though things wont be the same again,
you'll still be in my heart.
Always (:

Always be safe & happy,
and may you soar at greater heights.

XOXO.

Bareless

2011-11-19T00:57:00.007+08:00

Was Skyping Darling Wanwan whole night.
Haha and Im being so bimbo cause
I told her I was washing my face then we continue skyping while i was my face using the sponge while skyping.
Hahaha.
Then Im like so bored, so i started camwhoring while she's washing her face.
Cant help but to laugh at us,
because we do crazy things all the time when we're together.

Cooked Risotto for mummy today.
And she say its NAISE.
where got naise man.
I think Nad's one is better x1000000000000000000000

Oh gawddd i miss perth ): bring me back to perth !!!!!!
But haha ive got my darlings here too :]
Teehee LOVE YOU GIRLS SO MUCH
& I cant wait for next week
(L)

Tomorrow's BESTIE'S BIRTHDAY.

Happy Birthday Dearest Bestie.
I know you're having exams nao.
And i wanna wish you a VERY HAPPY LOVELY 21ST BIRTHDAY !
Thanks for all that youve done for me for the past 6-7 months ;D
I really appreciate everything that youve done !
Reminding me to take my vitas,
Bringing me to savour on awesome risottos,
To movies,
To dinner,
Walk all the way from the train station to my house with me,
Get yourself drenched in the rain just to accompany me back home,
Come all the way from the city to my house yet im always late!
Accompany me to open houses.
Treating me to icecream :]
Accompany me throughout exam blues day.
Helping me with assignments.
Skyping me/texting/calling me all the time.
Giving me plenty of advices when Im down.
And tried all your might to pull me up.
And never give up on meeee.

What have I done in my previous life to deserve a bestie like you.
Youre wrong,
Im not your angel (:
You're more fit to be one (:

Thanks for all your long letters & Roses,
& The crane/swan box.
Dont worry I kept them well with me.

Happy Birthday ZACHHHHHHH.
Be strong! and happy always.
Do well for your exams & make your parents proud.

Always know that I'll be here for you when you need me [:

See youuuu soon in SG alright !

Know you'll be reading this.

So i shall make a shoutout,
Please hurry and sleep.
You used to be a koala, and I never expect you to be a panda.
Dont continue whatsapping !
GO & SLEEP!
Goodnight.
I shall be the first to wish on facebook tomorrow.
Since i promised, i'll FUFIL IT ! XD

HAPPY ADVANCE BIRTHDAY !

& TO LOVER,
HAPPY ADVANCE BIRTHDAY TO YOU TOO,
YOU'RE 26 THIS YEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Happy Birthday Dearest.
Although we may not be close anymore.
Although we may have misunderstandings/ disagreements on many issues.
I'll still like to thank you.
For giving me
the best memories throughout these 5 years in my life.
Knowing you was the best thing that ever happened to me.
And I didnt even imagined that I could.
I just wanna say that whatever I do.
Im accountable for my actions.
And if I were to choose again
I'll still do the same thing.
Because my conscience is clear.

In anyway.
Enjoy your birthday and have a great one with all your fans/friends/family/love.
Im sure you will (:
Please always be happy, and safe.
Cause I'll continue praying for you to be.
Hope that you'll achieve greater things in life,
and climb up to the highest peak, where you'd always wanted to be.
I know youre halfway there.
Youre a great artiste, a great singer, a great performer.
And I know that it'll bring you far because you had that in you.
Dont always be emo about stuff or think too much into stuff thats causing your unhappiness.
Good things will come in your way,
and dont care about haters.
Because they dont know you and you dont need them in your life.
I hope that you'll continue to be successful.
And I'll still watch you soar at greater heights.

Happy 26th Birthday Love,
I love you.
And will always do (:

Bits of here and there.

2011-11-17T03:31:00.002+08:00

Mum must be a happy girl today,
cause I had a date with her for the whole day [:

Baked her blueberry cupcakes with her name on it :D

Went to choose birthday cakes, but this thing costs 400 bucks.
WHAT THE HELL! IKR.
So yeahhhhhhhhhhhh ):
I dont think Im buying already ):
I wanna cryyyyyyyyyyy

Ate caesar salad for lunch, Im in love with salad recently.
And mum drank tomato soup.
Tsktsk, poor us.
have to be cows ):
Drink veg soup & eat vegs ):
Lucky i got smoke salmon to accompany me ;D

Went out with my girls on Tuesday :D
Had so much fun with them.
Love my Apple dress from FEP (:

This was with darling before I cut my hair short.
Everyone agrees that I look better with long hair & wavy curls ):
Shalllll wait till it grows long again *roll eyes*
But its okay, i shall learn how to appreciate My short and kiddy hair for now (:

With the ever cute AMAN . So happy I can finally see her.
LITTLECHATTERBOX.
Miss you so much *wink*

With my lover forever Huahuaaaa.
See she is so cute la.
Mummy say she got the pretty asian look
GOT RIGHT?

Mum always compliments on my friends.
SHE DONT EVEN COMPLIMENT ON HER OWN DAUGHTER.
She will say
Ling, yanhong got a pretty face hor?
April got the asian look, very pretty right.
Say wanyi look photogenic la.
Aman cute la.
WAI NEVER SAY ME !
UNFAIR ):

Anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy,
Got a few stuff must dedicate first
Muahahahha.

Dear Wanwan,
I know you're upset.
And you miss perth alot even when you dont say it.
Dont worry,
IM HERE. Although he's not.
Teehee.
I shall take up the responsibility to take care of you when he's not around.
Dont worry, things will be fine
I LOVE YOU !

Dear Z,
Goodluck for your examsssss AGAIN.
(:
Dont me dismay on whats already over.
Good things will be ahead of youuuuuuuuuuuu.
Thanks for all your concern for me although you're studying/stress/tired.
Just leave things aside till exams are over alright.
I'll be okay (:
Hope that you'll too.

Dear Shawn.
Please get wellll soooon!
I know that I'll see you very soon!
Like next weeeek or the following.
(:
So you better take care of yourself and not fall sick!
Thanks for calling me all the time.
EVEN THOUGH I KNOW ITS BECAUSE YOURE BORED.
and you claim that its not XD
Hah.
But anyway,
I really appreciate the thought and all.
And sorry for not picking them up,
ALL THE TIME.
and you fell asleep after that.....
I'll try not to next time.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME (:

k,thatsaboutalllllll.
Im so happy Im back
CAUSE IM FREE ALL THE TIME ;D
Muahahahhahhahahaha.

AM GONNA WORK SOOON ;D
I CANT WAIT.
RIGHT?
ALYNNTYH? *love*

Bye people/lovers/world.

CRAVINGS

2011-11-14T00:44:00.005+08:00

Went to the fullerton hotel for photoshoot and lunch today.
Hahaha.
I love the photographer alot.
Cause all his pics all damn nice.
Angle is like superbly accurate and sharp.
ME LIKE.

A cute cupcakeeee I came across while eating lunch.
(:
FAT DIE ME.
I keep eating non-stop totally.

Went to cove with mum&family.
Arranged some stuff to prepare for birthdayyyyyyyyyyyyyy cele next week (:

Yeah I know, my short hair sucks.
YOU GUYS DONT HAVEE TO REMIND ME ):
I LOVE MY NEW HOUSE.
You know why?
It allows me to jog around the cove and maybe somehow i'll meet my future husband there right!
Hahaha Good investment daddy :D
Youre so thoughtful.
You had it all planned for me already.
Hahaha.
The houses at Cove is like INSANELY BEAUTIFUL.
I wonder when dad really wants to renovate my house ):
ITS SO UNFAIR ):

Anyway,
Im so glad to be back home (:
I miss so many of you guys who're still in Perth & elsewhere.
My darling Wanyi! & Nad (:
JORDANKU! Haha i guess he'll feel lonely after all of us left ):
ZACH,ANDRE,MIN,ALEX,KEN,TENG.
Who're in Perth/Bali/Holidaying in China/Malaysia.
I miss y'alllllll.
Cant wait to be backkkkkkkkkkkkkk & see you guys again!

PS: Dear Z, Good luck for your exams in this upcoming week. Dont be stress, just work hard do well, enjoy your road trip & come back on the 3rd alright (: Be safe, healthy and happy.
Dont keep worrying about me, cause i'll be fine i promise (:
Thanks for everything that youve done, all the words/advices that youve said to me even though youre busy preparing for your exams.
Thanks for being so thoughtful and sweet and remind me about eating my vitas everyday, and ensuring that im always happy!
Bestie, all the best in your exams! Do well, and make your parents proud.

ANYWAY, ASIDES FROM DAILY HAPPENINGS IN MY LIFE.
IM LIKE JOBLESS WOMAN ROAMING AT HOME DOING NOTHING MAN.
I KEEP SPENDING MONEY LIKE WATER.
AND THE BEST THING ABOUT IT IS.
MUMMY SUPPORTS ME.
AWWWW SHE LOVES ME SO MUCH.

I SHALL STOP BEING EVIL TO HER,
Cause i shall now ask my lovelybabydearestbrother to shower me with love.
Hahahhahahha.
Im having sooooo much temptation and cravings to buy stuff man.

Hermes Orange Birkin
Actually I guess most people would prefer a Kelly rather than a Birkin.
But seriously.
ORANGE BIRKIN IS SO CLASSIC.
AND IT COSTS LIKE WTF !
But waiiii is it so pretttty *amazed*

Hmmm I rate it 5/10 in my wishlists,
I personally feel that
Its too expensive but ohwell, its Hermes.
What do you expect.
But yeah, they're other bags that are more worth it.

Prada Lux Saffiano In Caramel.
The moment i step foot in Perth's prada store,
This is the only bag that got my attention.
And it cost like 1760AUD.
@#$%^&*(
And the worst thing is,
THEY ONLY CARRY 3 LUX SAFFIANO TOTES IN CARAMEL
IN THE WHOLE OF WESTERN AUSTRALIA
@#$%^&*(
IDIOTIC.
But it costs like 1060 POUNDS which is 2120SGD,
Its quite reasonable though.
But adrian feel that its not PRETTY enough.

I rate this 8/10 in my wishlist.
It was supposedly 10/10
But after being brainwashed by Adrian tan,
I finally accepted the fact that this isnt really that pretty ):

Balenciaga Classic City in Papyrus.
OMG. WAIT TILL I LAY HANDS ON THIS.
I dont know why I wanted Papyrus instead of red.
But oh wellllll.
ADRIAN FORCE ME TO CHOOSE A BAG WITH STUDS INSTEAD OF NORMAL ONES
Because he said that a balen bag without studs looks cheapo.
WTF ITS A BALENCIAGA PLEASE!

I rate this 3/10 in my wishlist?
Cause i dont really appreciate their bags.
Honestly.
But Adrian keep psycho-ing me about how pretty they look -.-

MIUMIU Iphone4 Casing in Red.
I just love the leather and how Red contrast with the gold miumiu label.
Its so classssssy.
Its costs like 200+?
Not really that bad :D

Rate this 9/10 Cause its affordable
& Its differs from other iphone cases (:

Hermes Wide Kelly Cuff in Orange.

ABSOLUTE LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.
I TOTALLY RATE THIS 100/10.
It costs about 300 pounds?
Which is 600 SGD?
Affordable right.
SHALL MAKE THIS NEXT IN MY WISHLIST ;D

FENDI GOLDMINE CUFF IN BLACK.
I guess this costs about 400+ SGD.
Which is super affordable.
I even wanted to buy one for my brother and myself.
His in black and mine in brown.
But he said it looks gay.
Quite true.
Hahahha
BUT ANYWAY IM SO BUYING THIS IN 2011.
GOOD WAY TO END THE YEAR.
SPOILING MYSELF WITH LOVE.
THIS IS TOTALLLLLY 10/10.
But i dont care since im buying anyway.

Was hesitating on buying Chanel's earrings or Westwood's earrings.
But I still feel that buying Vivienne Westwood's classic mini bas orbs earrings is nicer.
SO YAYYYYYYYYYY.

THANKYOU TO ADRIAN TAN FOR BRINGING BACK MY FENDI CUFF & MY WESTWOOD EARRINGS.

Sigh, too bad they dont sell this all at village,
or else i'd get them at a cheaper priceeeeeeeee.
Shall make Argon poke a hole through his pocket in selfridges :D
LOVEYOU!

Problems & Feelings.

2011-11-12T03:11:00.002+08:00

It sucks to see when
people around me are all having problems.
Relationship problems sucks the most TBH.
Seeing people cry/get emo/get upset over relationship issues really sucks so much.

To be honest,
Im sorry, and apologetic towards you.
That no matte what,
I did contribute to your heartache, and your breakup
Yet I can act so calmly like I dont.
As much as it sucks to see you feeling upset,
yet i dont have the guts to say it out,that im sorry,
im really sorry.
Sometimes I wonder if theres any difference between me and her really.
As much as i dont wanna categorize myself as being a third party.
In anyway, i know i somehow contributed to it.
And Im sorry. ):

Sigh.
Sometimes I just wish that things will get better for everyone.
At least thats the least I hope (:

In life,
No one can have everything they want.
To get something you will lose something.
So just weigh it and see which one matters more to you.

Anyway, Ive snipped my hair short .
And oh gawdddd.
IDK HOW I SHOULD RESPOND TO MY HAIRSTYLE.
But its okay !
I'll grow to love it ! XD

I tried

2011-11-12T01:52:00.002+08:00

All the time,

I try my very best.

Towards you,

Your family

Your friends.

But how come I don't feel appreciated

How come I feel you treat it like its what I should do.

All the time Im feeling this way.

Yet there's so much of agony inside me I can't say.

It's killing me.

Since when do you know

Or even so

Since when do you value my presence

When all I feel

Is nothing at all.

Webcaming w BFF ._.

2011-11-10T03:27:00.003+08:00

Hi Mr Shawnnnnteooo!

Don't know if you'll see this but

Take care in campppp ^^

You're enlisting tomorrow!

Don't forget my

Colourful Xiaolongbaooooo :(

Sorry I couldn't make it in time before

your enlistment!

But I certainly had fun webcamming w youuuu.

Thanks for being a clown.

And cheering me up with your stupid faces !

I promise that I'll make time when you get to book out Kay!

Thanks for being so amazing!

And for making me smile without fail (:

I know you're always a wild boar

Don't worry (:

2011-11-08T23:04:00.002+08:00

It's true

That there's always a limit to tolerance

And chances.

You're no longer like who you were before.

Because if you cared

You won't even hesitate when you call

But now it just imply goes to show that you don't bother at all

It's enough.

I've given more than what I could.

And when I give in

It doesn't mean I want to

It's because I love you.

I want to believe in you

As much as I can

But I can't anymore

I remember you texting me for the first time

When we face problems together

And when similar situations recur from the past

You didn't hesitate .

But now you always do.

Words don't really mean anything without actions

And I feel sorry and sad for myself

Because I don't see actions anymore

Once and for all.

2011-11-08T22:55:00.002+08:00

By the time you think of me

I'll no longer be here

Getting sick of being treated like shit

Getting sick of all your lies and sweet whispers.

I should blame myself for being a worthless creep

When I'm out here suffering

You might be there smiling.

What did I do to deserve this?

I don't know.

Whatever that I owe you

I guess my family replayed you with sincerity a long time ago.

It's enough.

I'm tired.

Just leave

Let us just leave each other alone.

And never turn back.

2011-11-08T14:00:00.002+08:00

If you don't even know what you want

No one can help you.

Im sick of being your option,

When you're her option.

Since you enjoy being someone that people choose

Among the others

Then I shall say

Good luck then.

Enjoy getting what you wished for.

Or be prepared to get dumped for fun (:

Seriously.

I'm so wrong about you.

You aren't even worth my time.

Honestly

Why am I even hanging out?

It's the breaking point, I had enough.

Don't worry I'll not regret.

Because this should have been my decision

A long way back.

Not meant to be.

2011-11-08T01:17:00.003+08:00

How many of your lies are enough to kill me?
Im wondering.
Im waiting for you to completely kill all my thoughts with your lies and words.

An advice from darling feels so right:
Words dont really mean anything
Its so true.
Words dont really mean anything anyway.
You can use a thousand words to express yourself.
Yet your actions are just otherwise.

Sigh,
I wonder.
Why do i always listen to your sweet nothings when they really meant nothing.
Youre just keeping me from moving on.
Since you know we're not meant to be.
You should go to her anyway.
Since you guys are not even stopping.

You said.
People who broke up
can still remain as friends,
can only meant that
they have never loved each other before
or they still love each other.

So whats the point?
When im of no difference from her?
Are you gonna say that
you love both?!
Then
I can only say that.

Just go then.

You're right.
we should just stop
whatever we're doing.
Stop contacting.
And i'll revert back to the times when
I havent met you.

Its enough.
I had enough.
Of you telling me
you're true.
yet you chose to leave.
yet you chose to hurt me when i needed you.

如果這就是愛，我能不能不愛了？
因爲愛太痛了
你走吧，去找她吧
反正從一開始你也選擇了她
我也不算什麽

since you said
if you could choose again
you'll still choose her.
then why come back.
why tell me all these
when in the first place you chose to hurt me that bad.

You say.

2011-11-07T00:40:00.004+08:00

Whatever that you say,

Were lies anyway.

You don't even seem to care

Even when you tell me you do.

Maybe that's your way

To prevent me from moving on.

Maybe that's how

You keep me next to you like an option all along.

I got tired,

Of guys.

You, the rests, whatever

So what?

My blog my space

If anyone doesn't like it, I don't have to stop just to please them.

Like seriously

Why are you guys acting so immaturely?

Telling me who and who isn't good for me,

This and that is not the best for me.

I have it for my own eyes to see

I don't think I owe any decisions to anyone.

So what if my family doesn't approve of my decision

So what if my family prefers another

Or so what if you feel that this guy is bad the other is bad

Because you guys are always concentrating on telling me how shitty another is

It actually reflects badly on yourself

Because you guys are forever criticizing

Don't tell me or ask me why Ive always felt that * is always the best

I don't hear criticism

The only thing that he'd always done for me

Is to stand beside me and watch me.

And that's all I need

Instead of such comments that I dread hearing for the longest time .

But anyway.

What z say is true,

Why spend time on someone that doesn't treat you right ?

I do agree so.

I can't deny that on my part I'm stupid.

But at least I'm true to my heart .

Around.

2011-11-06T23:29:00.002+08:00

Had so much fun these few days (NOT)

Stupiddd wan-er went to the beach without me.

HOW SADDDDDDD LIFE I HAVE.

Shall blog about it more when time's appropriate.

I miss you .

I love you.

Too much.

So much.

But I know you dont feel the same.

I dont want myself to get hurt anymore.

Since forever, i dont know how youre feeling.

At all.

Sigh.

You wont understand.

And all you have to do now.

Is just go ahead with your own life.

The people whom you want them to be in your life.

And we shall stop contacting.

Thats the best way isnt it.

2011-11-06T12:39:00.002+08:00

What happens when the ones you can have,

Is always not the one you want,

And the one that you want,

Is always not the one you can have?

It kept me pondering about this question all the time.

I'm so confused now.

Family, friends or even myself.

If your family love you. Will they support your decision no matter what

Or should they protect you because they know you're bound to get hurt eventually

Should you choose the one that they like, or should you go with your heart and choose the one you love.

It's been so suffocating recently,

Knowing about so much stuff.

Yet Im so lost.

So afraid of hurting,

So afraid of everything.

Each time I try to get close. You'll walk away

When I walk away, you came back

Yknow sometimes it's really that annoying ~

I give up :(

Totally.

What are we?

2011-10-31T01:16:00.002+08:00

There's this bond,

Between us.

This bond that will always keep us bonded together.

Sometimes when Im out, I'll still shop for stuff for you,

Thinking that it'll look good on you

And realized that it's pointless.

Shop for things for your family and then realise

Everything's different now.

That's the reason why I couldn't break free

I couldn't breakaway.

I couldn't move on, I couldn't go for someone else

That's the reason why I end up hurting people who love me

Willing to go against anyone for you.

My heart aches too.

For hurting people who love me.

Yet there's nothing I can do

This helpless feeling, just feels so suffocating.

To the end, people will only blame me for being heartless

For being stubborn, on clinging on to something that isn't worth waiting for.

People say, in love there's always risks

It's either you get it or you don't.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll regret it in the end

For walking past people who are much better

But in the end, I told myself to follow what my heart truly felt.

Sometimes I hate this bond between us,

That couldn't shape me into someone I wanted to be

Whatever I do, I'll always think of you first before anything.

Sometimes I wonder what are we.

If you don't love me, don't lead me on.

I dont believe in being friends after breaking up.

Not in such a short while.

Perhaps few years?

Maybe we should just leave one another alone.

And lead the life we had without one another.

You can say I'm stubborn, I'm unreasonable, I'm having mood swings, PMS or whatever.

I just don't feel good.

It seems like I'm hurting myself by continuing our endless conversations.

Its time to treat myself right.

Time to break this strong bond we had.

If I knew

2011-10-31T00:58:00.002+08:00

Sometimes,

I feel so foolish.

I miss you, yet I try so hard not to admit the fact that I do.

Sometimes I just wish you aren't in my life.

Sometimes I wish we didnt knew each other from the start.

Love is such a miserable thing.

Recently there's so many problems

In cliques , In school.

Slowly everyone's leaving Perth.

And we'll all meet next year

Im gonna miss all of you I swear.

This few months is indeed one of the best times in years.

I cant deny that there's alot of things I shouldn't do.

But I believe that when we come back next year.

Everything's gonna be fine again (:

Present issues wont exist anymore ^^

I hope?!

Last paper tomorrow (: shall just try my best and whack it hard !

Dearest, Nadine, Min, Andre, Jordan, Ken, Kelvin, Shinyl, Teng, Alex

I'll miss you allllll xoxo.

So glad that some of us will still meet in SG <: *love*

Losing track of time

2011-10-30T12:19:00.003+08:00

As I think back about the past,

Sometimes I still do cry a little.

Sometimes they still hurt so much,

Pinching me hard trying to make me feel conscious that it's real.

With family, friends and love all falling apart.

They just can't seem to end.

It was too huge of a blow my little heart could take.

Those endless bickerings, hurtful words and fierce starings

Sometimes as I think back, Im thankful that I'm still standing here

As a different person, leading a different life.

I don't know how others may feel.

But it's definitely something, I wouldn't want to experience again.

When unhappy memories over rule happy ones.

They were just so pathetic and horrifying.

If only I didn't realise that humans are always selfish.

Their love for themselves often ruled over others

Selfless? I'm not even sure if this word existed.

Trust me, even the people who love you most

Will not sacrifice themselves, to protect you.

Lovers? Parents? Friends?

No.

You're the only one, that'll be true to you.

EXAMBLUES.

2011-10-27T11:09:00.003+08:00

I dread exams.
All the time.
Im having my third paper tomorrow and i can happily pack my luggage & buy groceries home-.-
I ACT AS THOUGH IM GOING HOME TOMORROW-.-
But actually, still long way to go hahahahha.
I spend like $200AUD?
On wine, chocs, sweets, chips, energy bars, oatmilk, oats, cooking sauces, cake mix and stuff.
You know i feel like im leaving my home country to go back to somewhere strange.
Hahaha.
Who the hell buy cake mixes and cooking sauces back .
I DOOOO cause i wanna cook at home EVERYDAY !
Yeah, all the fatty food you can ever think of ;D
NOT FOR MYSELF OF COURSE.
For all my lovelylittledearestfriends :D
Im gonna make you guys fat.

Drank crimson carbernet yesterday.
And got damn tipsy I cant even study at all.
Its like so nice, i just drank and drank and .......
Yay gonna buy back and drink with dad & momo.

I'll miss you people <:
Bestest brothers & sisters & dearests & lovers.
We shall meet in 2012 *FLYINGKISSES*

LOVE.

2011-10-26T01:23:00.001+08:00

SHALL LET PICTURES DO THE TALKING.

MISS YOU ALL.
VERY MUCH.

As days gets shorter

2011-10-23T02:17:00.002+08:00

Finally exams are here!

Omg totally no time to study at all!

With so many distractions and

Daydreams on going home & stuff that I'm gonna do.

Sigh.

Don't even expect any good results from me!

As days over here gets shorter

I can't deny that I can't wait to be back home

To everyone I love! (:

I miss you guys so so much (I know its the millionth time in emphasising this)

So my lovely friends, we're gonna go separate ways for 3 months and then meet in march again ^^

I'll miss you guys so much!

So I'll just sum up my feelings I guess.

You guys are the best clique ever.

Drinking sessions, rushing assignments, road trips, heart to heart talks,

Usual gym sessions, meals out.

I couldnt have enjoyed that much of my life in Perth without you guys.

Thank you.

For being part of mine. I love you all!

I can't deny that there were many problems that I face here.

Towards people I hurt, even when I don't say anything, i am honestly very sorry.

And I admit that Im not brave enough to handle such issues.

I'm sorry, that our opinions and thinking differ.

Such that we have to quarrel all the time.

Actually I pretended I didnt know anything when I did all along.

I'm just sincerely sorry.

You know sometimes I feel so stupid.

I take for granted when people care and

Actually care for people whom doesn't care.

Exactly. Pure dumb.

If things turned ugly, I really didn't want for it to happen this way.

Thank you, yes you.

Yes, I'm not ready, just not ready for anything.

I know that sometimes my decision will let my family down, my friends down, or basically

People who love me down, but sometimes, I just can't helped it. But to always look back at the things I left behind :(

I know.. I'm letting myself down too.

Let's just hope that things would be better next year alright (:

Xoxo.

I love you guys. Sincerely.

2011-10-21T07:50:00.002+08:00

Exams are round the corner

And I have no study mood at all -.-

I wonder why *figures*

Im supposed to wake up at 230 to study again

And poof, I slept till NOW! Like 720 WTF?!

Taking my blood tests & neck ultrasound results later

Hmmmm frequent visits to the doctor simply meant

Burning a hole in your pocket.

Woke up from a bad dream,

Dreaming about things that were

TOO FAKE to be true.

Obviously, they weren't true.

Dreams are always beautiful.

And I hate them because they kept me thinking

That it may come true.

Sigh. Dreams are misleading and deceiving.

Switched my flight earlier ^^

Because I can't wait to get back home safe and sound

I better pray the rest would want to bring me to adventure world

Before I go back :(

Don't cheat my feelings people !

But oh well, ANYWAYYYY.

I'm so gonna shop and drop before I go home

*3 cheeers*

Had a long night talk with mum yesterday.

About things which bothers me alot..

Anyway she's so cute.

She planned every single thing that I'm gonna do when I reach home

Muahaha muahaha .

Yayness to driving lessons (:

*side track*

Quote:

Some people are meant to fall in love

But they're not meant to be together.

You may have love/loved someone alot.

But that doesn't meant that you'll end up with him or her

The things that he do.

What you both thinks about life/love wouldn't be the same.

That I agree.

Because you love him/her, you should let them go.

Because they can love another, and others can love them.

Eventually You can definitely get over

Even if it's after a long period of time you'll still manage to get over it.

I may love you, but I want the best for you.

And if I'm not the best , you deserve more.

Though you have alot of flaws,

Yet you're the best, I can never have.

I may love you, but I don't want to go back to the past anymore

To repeat the cycle and realise

We're not meant to be.

Once is enough, I don't need another heartbreak.

2011-10-20T10:16:00.002+08:00

I've been blogging ever so oftenly.
Even when exams are drawing sooooo near.
Which means ,
Im coming home , Im coming home,
tell the world that Im coming home ^^
*triplecheers*

Tumblr pictures always sums up how people feel :D
Woohoooooo.
IM LOVIN IT.
Okay, Im extremely hyper today,
AND IDKWAIIIII
I shall go back and hug my boookkkks soon (:

Cant wait to be back to see my dearies .
Though I'll miss alot of people here.
But oh well,
WE'VE 3 MORE YEARS TO MEET & HAVE FUN
*BIGGIELOVE*

-Sidetrack-

I dont deny that Im jealous.
Whenever I see girls posting on your wall, or even texting you.
I dont feel good at all.
I dont know how you feel honestly.
I just dont know.
If you were true to me,
ever since i knew you.

Thank you.

2011-10-20T01:20:00.002+08:00

Thanks for being here whenever I need you.
Always.
I'll miss you when I'm gone :(
Thanks
For making me smile.
For not leaving.
For turning my tears into rainbows.
For being the sunshine in my life everyday.
Without you, I couldn't pull through hard times.
Without you, I couldn't pick myself up.
Thanks for being here for me
Everyday without fail.

:')
Thank you ^(oo)^ *wink*

I used to love you.

2011-10-20T00:07:00.003+08:00

The best way of communicating.
Is not to communicate at all.

People who truly value you, will never leave you
No matter how hard it is.
People who love you,
Will love you when you're at your best, and your meanest.

Sometimes I hoped I knew you.

2011-10-19T17:00:00.002+08:00

We were once, in love.
I couldn't say we were so in love, because I know your love for others meant more to you.
I don't know, If I could use the term, you used to really love me, at all.

I guess the only thing special about our relationship
Were bonds between our families.
Sometimes, I wished I really knew you.
So much , that I wouldn't mind giving up anything
Just to know who you really are.

I never knew who you are when you're not with me.
Not what you do, not who you are with, not even who you mixed with frequently
I guess, I really don't know you after all.
These 2 years we had together, were just like an empty shell,
Filled with commercialise memories.
They weren't real, they were just like a show put for everyone else to see.
I really loved you, so much I felt that
I should let you go because I loved you.

We were similar in too many ways,
And different in alot of ways.
You may have shared many problems with me
But you never bare your soul to me, not once.
I was always myself when I'm with you,
I didn't hide anything from you at all.
But, seeing my Facebook message with my ex,
Was the opportunity you could take, for the final separation.
Why didn't you told me that you were seeing someone else too.
Telling her that you'll choose her over me, even if you get to choose again.

I don't understand why am I actually that foolish,
And remain there waiting for you, being afraid that you'll get hurt
And I didn't leave.
I knew, you wanted to grow older, or hoped that you could've been born earlier just to meet her.
Then, I knew, how much she meant to you.

Well, everyone knows that truth hurts,
They just don't know how bad it gets.
I didn't regret leaving you, even if I have to choose again, I'll do the same
I didn't regret all those nagging, all those tears and quarrels
But maybe, you were just meant to be like that.
You couldn't be normal,
And breakaway from them,
You cant.
And I couldn't accept, my family couldn't.
You just haven't found, someone that you really love,
Whom you are willing to quit away these bad habits just for her.

You never listened, not once.
About what others want to get across to you.
You are just too obesessed and drown into your own thoughts and mindset
You couldnt accept changes.

It doesn't matter anymore
It doesn't matter at all,
You can only choose what you want to do in your life,
Who you want to be true to,
Who that you'll protect all your life with.
I hope, that she,
Can make you a better person, or at least accept you for who you are

I can only tell you something.
If this girl ever leaves you,
It only meant that, she felt that having you was such an easy task.
Leaving you behind can keep you loving her still.
She just got tired of playing with a boring toy.
Truth hurts. And thats truth.
She may be attracted to you because of your appearance.
But when she starts ignoring you
It only goes to show that she was never serious after all.

2011-10-19T00:50:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry.
I may have violated what Im not supposed to.
I had to clear these doubts inside me.
Which have been left stagnant there for a very long time.

But how come truth hurts so much.
I tried to keep my faith, I tried so hard
To know that everything was just a beautiful lie
You were born this way
It was meant to be
You were meant to be this way
I thought you was different
I thought you'll be different from anyone else
But .. You disappoint me. All the time.
Why?
I'll really like to know.
Why?

Who are you? Truly.
Honestly tell me.
Who are you?
Have I ever known who you really are?
Or has everything been a facade .

You're scary.
Way too scary.

(:

2011-10-18T22:13:00.003+08:00

Hmmm tumblr pics to sum up my feelings & emotions I guess.
我原谅你欺骗我
我原谅你在我最需要你的时候离开我
当你需要我的时候我原谅我自己没有离开过

我从来不曾相信任何一句说你不好的事
可是这次我的心死了
你走吧，不要再回来了
我已经不需要你了
你已经不是我想要的

2011-10-14T20:13:00.002+08:00

I'm blogging from apple storeeeee.

How cool is that (:

Sigh. I just spent like 1500 dollars today

And I'm regretting it like shit.

I miss everyone back homeeeeee

And I miss you somehow :(

Don't know how it'll be like in the future.

But I'll take it as a last gamble.

It'll be the last, im sure.

2011-10-12T02:21:00.004+08:00

Had CIB presentation last weeek
And heres a group shot with my group
They're so awesome :D
We're having pink as our theme.
Had so much fun with all of them (:
Though exams are near, and perhaps things will be different when we meet again next year.
Im sure these will be the moments that we'll never forget.
Love you guys.
XOXO.

Thanks to KUKU for always giving me advices.
Driving us around and all (:
BESTBROTHERRRREVER.
Dont know how come I'll always get the luck of meeting awesome people along the way(:
Had so much fun playing basketball with cliques.
GYM TOMORROW *biglove*

At perth royal showwww with Darling, Sister & Brotherrrs!
Had zooo much fun watching the firework display,
playing carnival, ghost train, roller coaster and all.
Feel so loved and protected.
Sigh, Sometimes I hope, if only we get to meet each other everyday.
Even after we get back ):
I'll miss you all !

Oh yeah I shall let pictures do the talking then.
Got these from tumblr.
Guess they're kind of true?

Sometimes I dont really understand you.
You blow hot and you blow cold.
Each time i want to disappear out of your life,
you'll appear in mine.
I dont know.
When I set my mind to get over, forget and move on.
you'll come in and disrupt all my emotions and thoughts again.
When is over, really gonna be over?
I hate being clingy over affairs again and again to know that.
in the end,
its meant to be,
another heartbreak.

2011-10-12T00:35:00.001+08:00

Why does capturing my heart ever seems so easy to you.
I wonder why.
*Hmmmm*

Home.

2011-10-10T23:59:00.005+08:00

Went to Perth Royal Show with Darling and clique on FLIIIIDAYYYY.
The firework display is zooooooooooo naiseeee.
Lasted for 15 mins,
Even bigger than Singapore's National Day I thinkkkkk.
Feel so loved by so many friends here (:

Im cominggggg home soon.
But I dont feel like telling anyone thoughhhh.
Have lots to do before I really want to face the world againnnnn.
Pleaseeeeeeee dont blame me for not contacting when Im backkkkkkkk ):
Or dont be surprise when I suddenly appear (:

Miss my girls, Miss all my awesome friends ):
Seeing pictures on facebook doesnt seem to make me feel better ):
Seeing you guys enjoying every moment without me.
Sometimes I do wonder why good times in the past dont stay for long.
But I guess people have to move forward in life to embrace the future.

Sometimes, we just have to keep walking ahead.
And see embrace all the happy things/people that we get to meet in life.
No matter how much you miss the past,
miss people from there,
we just have to move forward,
along with everyone else.

Different people, have different encounters.
Be glad that we've met great people who stayed in our life for sometime.
And now even when all is loss,
we shouldnt regret, we shouldnt look back at what we once used to had.

No matter how much I missed the perfect life/moment that I used to have,
I shouldnt stay stagnant there.
Because there are good things ahead, that Ive yet to discover.
(:

Missing is just a part and parcel of life we must go through.
It doesnt mean that you people dont talk/meet/see each other anymore,
those memories that you used to have will disappear.
Because if they do,
everything that you used to have is virtual and artificial.
Because memories remains,
and the best ones are remembered.

Sometimes I hope

2011-10-06T11:52:00.004+08:00

Humans do have many expectations don't they.
Sometimes I wish I was an exception.
I hope I can be understanding towards you all the time.
But I guess I couldn't.

I love you, to the extent where I feel I can give up anything for you.
Go against the world just for you.
But I feel tired.
I feel tired keeping up with your footsteps
Not wanting to lose sight.
Despite anything anyone said to me,
I never once gave in to my words and determination.

No matter how, no matter what. I want to be there for you.
How come I dont get this feeling anymore?
Instead I just get tired day by day,
Doubting if this is the best way.
I feel so tired now,
With all those tears in my eyes getting dry.
I feel so faraway from you now.
I can no longer cheer you up and make you smile when you're upset
I can no longer say words that can make you happy all the time.
Sometimes I just wonder,
Why am I still holding on. When I know, it's never gonna be the same
It seems like I should give up and let you go.
I held on to you so tightly.
I'm starting to lose grip.

Maybe, it's just the start, of getting over you.

2011-10-01T00:17:00.002+08:00

Had BBQ with my dear girls in school today.

Sigh, look at how bad my face is without make up.

And i look like a bloated puffer fish.

Fat like maximum only.

Cant wait to be back :D Just finished the freaking old woman's test today :D

Happyhappymeeee.

Anyway,

Just went for crazystupidlove with @andre_chris @mrtallng @WYLIMMM @NadineThong & @Liewhawteng

Awww well, it was quite sweet but boring on the other hand.

Contradicting i know.

Cant wait to watch monte carlo after presentation next week XD

Savouring on dimsum tomorrow with the cliqueeee.

Gonna have lotsa fun while having group meeting.

Note how no life I have -.-

LOVE YOU PEOPLE XOXO.

Sigh I miss you allll.
Allll of you ):

Cant wait to be back, cant wait to go out again.

Just that sometimes I'll wonder if things will be the same again.

And if everyone will still hangout like how we used to ):

You guys never failed, to make me smile.

I need that smile now ):

Screw this pic.

I know how Uglayeee it is.

Just that, I reallllly missss dadddaye alot.

you see, he purposely act like he dont care if im going away.

Actually i know in his heart he loves me alot :D:D:D

Teeheee, im gonna be backkkk to you alllll sooooon.

I miss my old life ):

LAZYING.

2011-09-28T23:18:00.004+08:00

Sometimes even when I try so hard to deny,
I still miss you alot.
Nothing can keep you off my mind,
and sigh,
I hate this feeling,
to be wondering what you're doing
to contain all my emotions and try hard not to talk to you.

Sometimes, I find it hilarious,
when i walked into a particular store, looking at clothes and stuff that I know you'd love.
Wanting to buy it, and then remind myself that i shouldnt.

I miss you so much.
so so so much.

Love this picture alot ):
The last picture I ever took at homeeee.
And naoooooooooooooooo..
Its not my house anymoreeee *cry*

Oh well.
Supposedly,
I should study for my exams -.-
And then I started playing with Min's Ipad while he's playing games.
And naoooo im still stucked at chapter 3.
I almost felllll asleeeep man.
Thought I'll be able to study, but too noisyyyy already.

Happy Birthday Benjaminnnn awww.
I didnt forget your birthday okay ):
:D Love you maxxxxxx.
Thanks for always being hereee.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo.

2011-09-26T21:06:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday girl :D
Youre finally 18 !
Hope that you enjoy every single surprise we made (:
And thanks for everything.
Its so awesome to know the whole bunch of you.
And so so so awesome to join the whole clique of 14 of us :D
Its so awesome and fun !
So much that perth became so so so so so special and enjoyable.
Love y'all :D and i know you guys know that ^^

my cutesy dudesy baobei-ers.
I miss you allllll.
Not having to hear irritating malaysian slang from aman,
to see dumbfounded face from xiaohong
and nagging from xiaohua,
I feel so weird !
Seeing xiaohong and xiaohua saying i miss you on the phone and cry.
feels so sweeet ):
I wanna hug y'alllllll.
When im back i'll go irritate you all everyday okay, dont push me away before i cry ):
Hahaha.
I miss you dearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrries.
I'll be back soon i promise :D

Hi cute guy.
Know you'll be reading this.
Thank you.
For listening to me when i needed you.
Even when you must be rolling your eyes a hundred times few thousand miles away
but thank you for being here.
I'll never not need you.
My habit right, i know ):
Even when I tell myself a thousand times, and force myself not to talk to you.
I'll still end up losing in the end.
Everytime when i face problems, i'll always think of you.
And thanks for being here for me.
I miss you zoooooooooooo much ):

2011-09-24T20:35:00.002+08:00

Hi Darling :D
Im so touched when i read your blog post that was meant for me.
I miss you as well.
Miss seeing your smile, miss seeing your cute face.
Seeing your slow reaction.
Youre just wonderful all the time.

Teehee, im not great here, not without you all.
I miss and at times I wonder if i can bring you guys over here with me.
Things would be better if 4 of us weren't seperated in the first place.
Wherever you guys are, is where i'd be happy.
When we fall, we'd support one another.
I know.
And I appreciate and thank god so much for allowing me to meet you guys.

Darling, Yes, I admit that Im still upset over WL.
But this is what I came across from a tumblr:

Especially those who are upset everyday over their loss relationships OR those who are upset because they are single and they need someone to make them feel “complete” What kind of bullshit is that?

1) If you can’t save your relationship, at least save your damn pride. why suffer from such indignity? Do you really want your ex-parnter to see how miserable you are without him/her? Feeding on to his/her ego, thats pure stupidity. I know it hurts, you miss that particular “oh so special” person. But, SO WHAT? THERE ARE PLENTY OF FISHES IN THE SEA. I know , you’re going to say ” But , this person is special” In situations like this using your emotions to think will cause harm to you emotionally. Once bitten twice NOT shy?! You’re way better than what you’re giving yourself credit for because there are reasons why a relationship turns sour and bridges are burnt.
Which clearly oozes this phase “not meant to be“

2) In response to a friend who recently told me he/she needed a partner to feel complete and be happy again. The response that came out from me was “what kind of bullshit is that?” If you really need someone to feel complete and happy again, then that’s really sad. Because, you obviously don’t have much of a life. Same goes to people who goes around making the life of other’s miserable, but that’s worst. Why would you need someone to make you happy? Can’t you make yourself happy?! Your self worth depends on yourself not others. Your happiness depends yourself, not others. I am happy single, if I ever get into a relationship and if things goes smoothly of course I’ll be pleased but if it doesn’t goes well why bother? Why would I want to prolong both of our misery?! All I can say is , if you can’t be happy single you’ll never be happy in a relationship because you can’t even handle your own emotions. Dependency on someone for happiness and to feel “complete” doesn’t seem logical to me.

See dearie (:
Its all so true.
I know that you're worried about me.
Sometimes I think again,
Actually I know its impossible,
But im just deceiving myself (:
Im not gonna be like that anymore darling.
Im gonna live my own life, and make myself happy.
And now Im happy, even when Im alone.
I've got a family that loves me,
and you guys to be with me whenever I need company.
I've got a nice bunch of friends here too.
And moreover, it doesnt mean that I dont feel love anymore right?
I know my family loves me and you all love me too.
And I love my family as well as you all, and wl's friends as well.
Because you guys let me know that,
no matter what happens,
friendship and kinship is something that never changes.
I should thank him,
because we had this strong love we once held tightly on.
I should thank him,
because I didnt know that my family and you all love me so much,
not until he hurt me.
I realise you guys were the ones that will never leave me.
I should thank him,
for allowing me to meet so many awesome friends.
I should thank him,
because my life was complete and wonderful when he was in my life.
Thank him for making me feel so love and wanted.

Now that he's not around,
I can be strong alone too right? (:
I can do it de darling,
I can.
Yes, keeping in contact, continue talking to each other.
Be it as friends brother or sister.
It will only hinder me from breaking this bond from him,
And seeing that he's happy now without me.
I should completely move him out from my life.

Soooooooooo
WHEN I GO BACK
NI MEN YAO PEI WO HOR.
Dont later i go back then i sadgirl1993 lonelygirl1993,
TEEEHEEEEE

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCHHHH
*KISS*
TO
OMGITSAOKI
DINGDONGYH
AND
APHRILLIS
;D

How it hurts

2011-09-22T12:04:00.002+08:00

It hurts badly, deep inside me.
To remember everything about us
When they don't matter anymore.

Im the only one giving myself excuses to hold on
When I clearly knew what was going on.

How come everything between us seems so much like yesterday
When it became the past long ago.
I miss you, I really do.

To my lovers

2011-09-20T20:46:00.004+08:00

Darling girls,
do you guys miss me.
Cause I miss all of you here ):
Seeing you guys leading seperate lives,
Seeing you guys going out together.
I suddenly feel Im so faraway.
I suddenly feel that Im completely leading a different life now.
I miss you guys so so so much.
Never once did I forget about those fun times we had.
So im crossing my fingers and praying hard that these 2 months will pass by swiftly.
And bring you girls back to me again *bigtighthug*

Happy legal 18th birthday Nadine Thong :D
Know that youre feeling kinda stress lately.
But dont be afraid yo, we'll work out assignments together ^^

Dearest W,
Thanks for being here for me.
Listening to my rants, tolerating all those crap I told you.
Thanks for listening to my problems and giving me your opinions.
With you around, everything seems so vvvonderful.
Although I know you dont care about me everytime ):
Regardless of whether your care and concern were sincere,
I still thank you.
For having this amazing ability to make me smile.
Sometimes,
Its so peculiar,
when stupid and lame things make sense when i talk to you.
Thank you for being so special.
As a friend, as a brother,
I love you so so so much.

Maybe.

2011-09-18T23:38:00.003+08:00

Maybe youre the present that santa clause left out when he came through my chimmney.

Nowadays, I dont think I expect alot.
Or perhaps, I knew everything was wishful thinking.
I miss you, and i really do.
Countless times I hope I was right there beside you,
countless times I hope I can be there for you.
I dont know how long is ever enough,
to let you know or feel that,
Im right beside you.
Sometimes I think its foolish, sometimes i rather hope i didnt.
But I just cant stop myself from falling.
I dont know since when you stop trying to tell me about your problems.
I dont know since when did you want me to stop caring.
Suddenly I feel so faraway no matter how much i tried to get near.
Is it really true,
that we're so faraway now,
so much that we dont remember us anymore.
Is it so true, that I have to take all the initiative to care for you even as a friend now,
such that you wont talk to me,
you wont care for me,
you dont even bother when i dont talk.

I'll just see,
just how long more..
Because Im slowly starting to get tired,
slowly starting to get sick.
Slowly starting to hate myself,
and every little actions that I want to do for you.
When i knew,
everything was so yesterday.

Its been so long :D

2011-09-14T00:17:00.000+08:00

Ciaociaociaoitalia :D
Damn damn niceeeeee (:

Anyway i came across something that pissed me off lately.
Omg-.-
dont ask me to keep my hands to myself please.
Like as if i want to snatch yours.
Im not that low down can.
Girls shouldnt be so possessive.
the more youre acting like that.
It means that your byebyeeeeday is gonna be here soon.
PLEASE-.-

Enough about stupid stuff.
Im zooooooooo happy todayeeee yo :D
I missed those long nights talking to you
So glad we're talking naoooo.
Thanks for always being here for me Weilianggggg (:
Misszzzzz yewwwww zooooooooooooo much.
So glad im gonna go back to singapore sooooon :D

2011-09-13T01:18:00.002+08:00

Tell me what kind of feeling should I have.
Because I dont know anymore.

Theres too many people trying to drown me with too many issues.
):
Sigh, Im so affected by that sentance you said that night.

Everyone's trying to tell me what i heard that day isnt true.
But I dont know.
Dont wish to have another episode of history repeating itself.
(: I'll make up my mind, anddddddddddddddddd...
(:

2011-09-09T14:22:00.000+08:00

我的生活因為有你因此而美麗

2011-09-07T21:00:00.002+08:00

Caught up between two worlds.
As much as I really love the life here.
I miss everyone back there so much.
Fleas, dinner, fun, nights out, work.

It seems kinda contradicting when I complaint about
being tired back there ):
But now when all's gone.
I misssss everything so much.

Sigh,
Where are my lovelyyyyyyy friends ):
Imissyouall.

2011-09-04T11:54:00.002+08:00

Everyone.
Can form bad impressions about you.
Everyone.
Can brainwash me with negative images about you.

But.
In me, you're always wonderful.
It doesnt make you bad just because you hurt me.
It doesnt make you evil just because you said nasty things to me
Youre so wonderful
because its you.

In life,
there's always sad things to begin with.
And youre not here just because you have to please everyone.
Hurting someone is inevitable.
That doesnt make you a jerk.
I know deep inside,
if there was an option,
you wouldnt want to hurt me that badly.
It just happens.
Dont tell me im stupid
dont call me idiot.
Because thats how you are to me,

its just you.

Misses.

2011-08-30T11:27:00.001+08:00

I feel like going homeeeeeeee.

And see my darlingggggggggggggg girls :D
hehhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Giving up.

2011-08-29T23:05:00.003+08:00

Somehow I wish I was stronger

Somehow I just wish, i could leave you behind like how you left me
Everytime I heard about you telling me about you and her.
Theres just this fit of anger in me,
What the hell is so good about her.
Someone whom you want to be with,
tell you all the crap that she loves you
yet dont want to be together with you.
If thats the case.
what for waste your time,
when you know theres not gonna be any future or ending to it.

Get yourself so upset,
so dejected.
Losing your smile
When you can actually choose to be happy.

Whatever it is.
Im through with it.
Through with you.
I'll let you live the life you want.
Im not gonna be bothered anymore.

Take that.

2011-08-29T02:07:00.003+08:00

Ah good.
Continue bullying me okay.
The pig very cute right.
I know :D
Bully me somemore.
Serve you right.
I ask about stuff then sleepy drowsy wanna go sleep right.
GOOOOOD !
What kind of friend I have here.
Continue drinking your sugar water and get diabetes okaye.
Im not gonna talktoyoucallyoutextyoufindyouwhenigoback and whatever already
*Fuming with anger*
GOOOOOO
ENJOYYYYYYYY
YOUR DIABETES DATEEEEEEEEEEEE.

BYE.

2011-08-29T00:25:00.002+08:00

Dear Weiliang,
Listen to the song up there,
Like a nice leh.
Soothing songs can lift up mood one.
Dont always listen to club songs and shake your head until your head drop off can!
I think you've forgotten where you put your smile recently.
Dont always look gloomy and grumpy.
Smile more alright (:
Im so not used to seeing your
tired looking and gloomy pictures on facebook.
Its not cool not handsome not hawt at all :D
Smile more please ,
Cheer up ! XD
I know youre tired all the time,
thinking to yourself and sighing and complaining that youve no life naoooo.
But everything happens for a reason right :D
Im sure good thing will come your way soon (:
Dont be dejected or down.
Please find your bright and shining smile back (: I'd love to see that.
Cheerupppppppppppppppppppcheeriosssssssssss *pinchyourcheek*
Love you brothersisterfamilybestfriendwhatever*BIGHUG*

And so, I had a very very very happening lovely good friday.
Happy Birthday Min :D

Haha , oh well.
The weekend was so funnnnnn :D
Eating good food, getting fat, playing games and all.
Did I mentioned Nadine look super stunning on friday ?
With make up and hair :D
Hahahaha.
Goooood for you girlllllllllllllll !
Its time to changeeeeeeee everything :D and make yourself look awesome.
Make your mood awesome too :D
Teeheeeeeee.
Love the life here with all the awesome friends ;D
Though sometimes its kinda stressful but oh well.

I dont want myself to be in drama mama.
I think.
I came here not because i wanted stress.
Because I thought there was space for me to be myself.
But with all these dramamama i have here now.
I dont even think I can be myself at all.
Hah.
whatever.
figures.

Life.

2011-08-24T00:11:00.002+08:00

Source of my smile
and happiness for these few weeks.
Thanks for cheering me up favboy.
Thanks for being there,
listening to me, hearing me talk
Helping me with assignments
Bringing joy and fun into my life.
Manylove !

Life in Perth.
Is so great.
Gym, School, Assignments, Exams, Friends.
Balanced.
(:

I cant wait to go back and meet my lovely family and friends though.
But life in Perth would be something I'll look forward to everytime Im coming back.
Awesome friends.

We're gonna partaye on Friday NIGHT yooooo :D
GOOD FOOD ^^ And lotsa fun.

Sometimes I do think about what I really want in life.
Which now,
Im really confused.
I guess I'd really love the piece of paper with a bachelor degree word on it.
I just feel that my future seems so faraway.
I talked about my future with someone long ago.
Talk about what I wanted.
Even though I really want you to be part of my future.
Somehow i feel youre so faraway from me.
Its full of uncertainties and insecurity.
Sometimes I just wonder,
I held on so strong.
In the end I guess you'll hurt me like crazy.
Figures...

No matter what.

2011-08-22T23:22:00.005+08:00

I'll smile no matter what comes in my way.

I feel horrible,
Everytime I see someone posting on your wall.
Then again,
I dont have any rights to care anymore.
Even though it kills me everytime,
I guess I'll still survive in the end (:
People say cats have 9 lives.
I guess I have 90 lives.
No wonder I can survive all the time.

Does everything really mean that youre out of my life completely?
I dont know.
I just feel so faraway.
What mummy say may be true,
Youve moved on.
Youve moved on.
Youve moved on.
I shall get this drilled into my head.

Even if its not her anymore,
it can be anyone else.
You seems to get the attention all the time.
And the suckiest feeling is
I dont really know how you feel about anyone.

You may still love her, or you may fall for someone else.
The suckiest thing is I dont know
I can no longer read your heart anymore.

The term 'US' is no longer referring to you and me.

Sigh.
I wonder when will I wake up.
Just when...?

Best thing I never had.

2011-08-22T09:52:00.002+08:00

For You .

Sometimes I wonder.
The fact that everyone wants to drill shit into my head.
To ask me to move on.
How much do they know me?
Or I could say,
How much do they know you?
Who are they to ask me to stop thinking, stop missing and stop loving.
I hate it honestly.
I know clearly myself,
Because Im the one Im the one, that goes through everything together with you.

Sometimes I just think you think too highly of yourself.
Who are you to say that I dont understand the feeling of being happy for the one I love even when he's not with me.
Hi, Im not that shallow?!
Even if its killing me inside.
Do you f*cking know how much I hope he's happy?
Even when he's not with me,
I just hope that she'd be able to give him the love that he wanted.
The love that can complete him.
And you.
Who are you to judge me.
Who are you to say that I just want to keep him with me.
Even when he isnt happy being with me.
I think Im better off than you though.
If youre the one
that goes around flirting or not being able to commit ~
I just hope,
I just sincerely hope that you'd be able to commit to this girl that you meet now.
Because if you dont I'll screw you up.
Whatever about her.
Concerns me.

Now its impossible.

2011-08-17T21:55:00.005+08:00

Everything seems so beautiful.
They seems like a dream.

Everyone want me to let go.
Everyone want me to give up.
How can I,
when all these still remains so fresh inside.

Mum and dad were so harsh on the phone.
They made everything seems so distant,
They made me realise.
Im the only one standing here when everyone's looking forward.

Figures.
Stupid is the word i suppose.

Everytime i feel like telling you something.
I'll look at your name on my phone
deciding between calling or texting or not.
Because I know your heart's not around.
He's somewhere else.
Somewhere beside someone whom I dont even wanna get near.

2011-08-17T19:19:00.003+08:00

Its so painful its killing me.
Those long walks.
Hand in hand , on the streets.
On the road.
Its killing me so badly.

Everytime I close my eyes.
Those scenes appear again and again.

When I lie so comfortably in your arms.

Then again I think.
So what?
Not once I felt I was secured.
Not once I felt you were entirely mine.
There were always every other.
hovering around you.

I guess thats what it meant
by having the perfect guy.

How come it feels.
So sweet so happy so blissful.
Yet when I really think about it.
I feel so helpless.

I should heed your fav advice.
Sleep my problems away.
Then theres the only place where I'll feel
Im truly happy.

Blank

2011-08-16T23:20:00.003+08:00

I miss youuuuu lover,
I should go see you in december (L)
and Im giving this song to my another lover.
Hahaha <:

Miss you two,
the 2 most important thing is
You both must be happy okay (:
Even though I think you guys got alot of things troubling you.
But deep down i still hope you guys will be alright (:
Feel like flying to both places
to get 2 hugs right now.
and fly back here.

I just need them so much.
):
Sigh.

Tocuteboy.

2011-08-10T02:41:00.002+08:00

Hello Cuteboy,
Thankyou for hearing me out today.
I know,
whenever I faced problems,
Youll be the first one there for me.
I thought you slept, but you didnt.

Whenever I hear your voice i knew things is gonna be alright.
As long as I know you'll be behind me,
you'll guide me along my way.
I know things will eventually be fine

Miss you so much today,
Especially when its national day.
I miss how we used to have fun together (:
But i know we can still have fun together when Im back (:

Thanks for being a brother,
being family,
and being the best person who understands me in the whole world.
Mummy gets 2nd place, and you're first.
Because you understands me more than mummy do.

I miss your family too ):
I miss talking to lucassssssss, especially when my phone is dead naooooooo.
So glad youre happy nowadays (:
I just hope things go the way you want them too as well.

AS LONG AS YOURE HAPPY.
I'll be happygirl1993 .

Love you truckloads.

Dear Darlings.

2011-08-09T22:59:00.007+08:00

For:
Mummy, Daddy, Aman, Yan Hong, April, Irene, Jojo, Yvonne, Jody, Weeteng, Joanne, Siusiu, Michelle, Gideon,
Veto, Lester Lim Wei Liang, Jeremy, Jonathan, Kzel, Lui Ting, Chunhui, Benjamin, Singping, Ellie, Angeline

Dear darlings.
Words cant express how much I miss you guys.
Its national day,
and Im here in perth.
Hah <:

I miss all of you,
all the fun we had,
Everything.

Everything is so different without you guys around meeeeeee.
I feel so faraway from you guys.
):
I miss home naooooooooooooooooooooo /:
I wished I could buy an air ticket and fly back naoooo ):

Lovers, please wait for me,
I'll be back soon (L)

Happynationalday with love from perth (:

Thank You for being so Wonderful <:

2011-08-08T12:11:00.002+08:00

Hello Mai Best Fwennnnn (:

Thank You for being so wonderful this week.
Helping me with my assignments,
Taking me out to eat.
Helping me to buy books in school and carrying it all around when you meet me
Being there for me at odd hours of the day just to accompany me.
Trying to cheer me up when Im stress
Offer to help me all the time
I feel like Im so so so in heaven.
I feel so happy to have you around,
Because if youre not here,
I guess I would have breakdown sooner or later.
Thank you for everything.
Words of gratitude cannot express how grateful I am to you (:
And and and,
You didnt even complaint at all.
Even when times Im stubborn you still gave in to me.
Even when times Im unreasonable, you still never fail to try to cheer me up.
*Teary eye*
Waiiiii in dishhhhh world gotttt such a fantastic guy like youuuuuuuu?
I alshooooo dunchhhh nooooooooe waiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

*INSERT HEART X A ZILLION*

THANK YOU YOU *BOW*
Love you many many many.
You the best already (:

2011-08-07T00:12:00.002+08:00

Best dish of the day (L)

Went to eat dimsum with favboy.
We ate like 59 dollars man,
2 people.
Hahaha then we went to the state library to research for info
on CIB assignment.
GUESS WHAT.
We went there and we did nothing.
HOWWWWWWW FUN IS THAT?!

But Im so lucky
I have my loveliest and bestest adrian tan to help me,
as well as the superrrrrrrrthoughtfulkindcaringandinnocent lzy to help me.
YAYYYYY (L)

Omg Ive been eating like a glutton lately.
AND I FEEL DAMN SAD.
Can I eat grass for the next 2 months ):

Sigh.
Sigh.
Sigh.

I FEEL SO UPSET NOWWWWWWWWWWWW.
School's being damn effing shit.
Theres so many assignments to do,
And wtf.
the whole semester is so damn short.
I already feel like dying !!!!
Save me ): ): ): ):

Okay ive got no mood to blog actually.
BYE.

Happyyyyyy.

2011-08-01T02:21:00.004+08:00

Lol at my retarded face <:

Had lunch with favboy yesterday.
Went all the way to carousel just to eat like what.
Mixeddddddveg rice.
Oh my god.
Seriously /:
Now I crave for dimsum, tony roma's, ciao italia *dreaming*
Lol.
Nooooooooooo, I want my figure backkkkkkkkkkkkkkk ):
Seriously,
Standing on the bathroom scale, I totally feel like crying.
YES CRYING!
I feel like eating pasta suddenly ):
Sigh I wonder if theres any point of time
where I can stop thinking about fooooood hah ^^

Hello Stupidandangstyboy,
I feel so guilty nowadays okay.
Pleaseeeee dont get drenched in the rain because of me again.
You must be thinking how suay you are to have a friend like me right.
I KNOWWWWWW ):
Sorry for making you walk all the way home with me,
AND FOR ACTUALLY GETTING LOST hahaha.
So sorrrrry ):
Even though you dont blame me,
it doesnt mean that I'll stop being guilty okay.
I just feel that when your school starts,
Maybe we'll talk lesser and lesser.
And slowly, WE WONT TALK ANYMORE *cry*
Hahahaha (: Though you promise that this wont happen.
I DONT BELIEVE YOUUUUUU (:
But Thanks,
Thanks for always being here,
Even when you're mad, Even when you get super irritated,
Thanks for not leaving me alone.
NI ZHEN DE SHI WO DE SELF PROCLAIM BEST FRIEND (L)

Hello MY JIE MEI MEN.
I miss you alllllll.
I know exams are coming (:
So Ni men yao study hard okayyyyyy?
Those who are sad, dont be sad.
Those who are stress, dont be stress , zhi bu zhi daoooooo?!
Sigh, You all always make meeee worrry.
Except my xiaohuaaaaa (L)
My Aman & Xiaohong, please be alright okay.
If you guys ever need meeee,
IM JUST A WHATSAPP AWAY RIGHT?
Yknow everytime when I hear you girls telling me about your day,
telling me about problems you faced,
How i wish Im right there,
Im right there to lend you my shoulders,
Right there to ask you not to cry, but I couldnt.
This helpless feeling I have really bothers me so much ):
Sigh.
If only I can be there.
If only I can make y'all feel better ):
I know you guys willllll see it rightttttt!
I WILL ALWAYS BE CONSTANTLY HERE,
TO FORCE YOU GUYS TO MISS MEEEEE
YAYYYYYYYYYY (L)
*SPAM HEART SHAPES*

I'll always reserve this spot for you.
I dont know how you're doing,
but slowly I'll make myself not want to know.
I dont know hows life for you,
But slowly Im trying not to care.
Slowly Im walking out,
Walking out of everything.
Slowly I'll walk out of those memories,
Slowly I'll disappear.
I really miss you, miss your family alot.
Theyre like a second home.
And the thought that when I go back, I wouldnt see them anymore
Pains me, because I care.
When I loved you, I love everything about you,
Your friends, you, and your family.
Now that its over, i find it so hard to just throw everything behind,
And pretend that we never once met.
Im angry, Im disappointed.
But I know you dont care.
She can do a lot of stupid and childish acts,
Yet, you still believe her.
You told me you trust me more than you trust her.
I didnt know they were lies until that day.
Since when,
Since when did I ever matter to you?
Since when did you ever look at me as though I was important.
You didnt.
The fact is you didnt.
I grew tired yet I cant stop caring.
When will I ever wake up.
Or when will you ever allow me to wake up.
Let me walk out of your life,
Let me forget about our past.
Let me forget everything when it seems so hard.
Waking up to see your face beside me,
Waking you up seeing your sleepy face,
Lying on your shoulders when Im tired
Seeing you taking care of me when Im sick
Walking slowly beside you
Telling you about all my problems.
And so much more.
Let me forget,
Forget all of these when its still so fresh inside my memory.
Make me stop reminding myself and thinking back.
As much as I hope I can look forward,
Your shadow always pulls me back.
Im tired, Really tired.
Will the day come? The day when I realise,
everything, can only be a dream.
A beautiful nightmare.

2011-07-28T23:45:00.002+08:00

Actually I miss you alot.
I keep looking at my phone,
Looking at the previous messages we wrote to each other.
I dont understand,
She was the one who took you away from me,
Why cant she even leave spaces for us to be friends.
Why?!

I dont owe her anything neither did I take anything away from her ):
Why must she do this kind of things,
Use this kind of underhand methods.

I dont understand what kind of person she is.
I really dont understand.
What attracted you to her.
Or its because your character and hers click so well.
Both like to do those stupid things.
She's old enough to know what is right and what is wrong.
Please, I can sue her for slander if she say that I post about her.
Moreover its on my wall,
How would she know that whoever Im talking about is her.
STUPID PEOPLE.

Girl, Youre not fit to be a medical student.
Let alone being a doctor.
When your morales are so f* up.
When you dont even know how to respect people,
When you do this kind of shallow things,
How do you expect your patients to trust you.
When your character and personality are major problems.
Im not lecturing you,
What position am I in to lecture you when you feel Im younger than you.
But at least I know what Im doing,
I know what I should and what I shouldnt.

If you feel that you're a person of high moral values,
Those idiotic people with mindsets that think that they belong to the high society group
Please uphold some of the standards that prove yourself to be one of them please.
Moreover,
youre just throwing away your own face,
And youre just disappointing your parents.

Dont act like a crying mouse or cat.
And think that you can hit me hard as and when you want.
Because Im sorry, Im not that soft either,

If he thinks or you think
that theres nothing wrong in what you two say or do.
Please carry on this kind of thinking.
And seriously, If this is the case.I do agree that you two are indeed compatible.

Shame on you girl,
Shame on you.

My smile.

2011-07-27T21:30:00.002+08:00

I want to smile like this again.
One day I will.

Life in perth, is great.
I love the scenery, love the school, love the subjects.
I only things that I dont like
is the weather, and the transport system.
Hahaha.
I shall buy a car as soon as i get my license.
I LOVE THE FOOD ESPECIALLY.
But i dont like my tummy now (:

I miss mummy, I miss daddy and adrian too.
I think they're so so so happy now.
Cause they chase a loudspeaker out of the house.
Hahaha.

I was flipping through my camera photos,
photoalbums, old camera photos.
I realise,
I was once happy.
I once had happiness.
I once had a guy who loves me alot.
I once love a guy alot.
We were very happy together.
ONCE.

There were so many issues happening lately.
Omg, I feel like giving mummy and daddy a big hug
Because I feel like crying all the time.
Its good to be independent.
But you still needed someone to talk to.
Telephone bills are so expensive Hahaha.
I cant calllllll much though.
I miss Irene teaching me economics.
When i look at econs now
I shake my head because I dont know anything.
Hahaha.

I miss Joanne, Siuli , Michelle, Jojo, YanHong, Apr and Aman ):
I miss going out to fleas with the girls,
having heart to heart talk sessions.
I miss all the fun times we had together,
Now that its gone,
I feel so empty inside me.

Life here is good, its fantastic.
But things will always be different without the presence of you guys.
Yknowit.
Its not the same anymore.

Hmmm.
Steady and me were BFF before we came.
Haha, Now that we live together.
I think we're gonna be BEF.
Best enemies forever.
Hahaha,
We come here and we always quarrel man.
Nevermind.
I know a few days jiu hui hao de.
We can never quarrel for long.

When 2 people are living together,
they'll always be frictions and disagreements.
Sometimes I'll think to myself.
Other friends is better than her,
why is she my best friend?
Other friends can console me, other friends can be here for me
When i talk about certain things to her,
She dont seems to be interested at all.
but then again,
I know when I really face problems
Even when others say they arent free.
Even when people reject helping me.
I know she'll never leave me.
And to me thats the most important one.
We may be stuck up, we can have cocky attitudes.
But I know deep inside.
Part of us,
We still care.
And we always will.
Even when we appears to be angyr with each other.
Actually I know we've long forgiven one another.
Its just that we dont want to say,
We are just super tired of quarreling already.
Hah <:

Today , I miss you alot.
Ever since that day I give you a piece of my mind.
I've been thinking and thinking.
I dont want to talk to you.
I dont want.
Everytime you talk to me,
My heart softens.
I'll forget every god damn shit thing you do to me.
And only remember the good ones.
This sucks,
Because no matter how much a person hurts you,
you'll always forgive them.
If this is love,
Love sucks.

I must thank mummy for consoling me, for texting me all those encouragements
and pull me up.
If I tell you I dont care whether you hate me now,
Im lying.
But what can I do.
I dont think its my fault to begin with anyway.
Just because of you,
Just because you want her to be happy.
You hurt me.
Hah<:
Shouldve expected it anyway.
Since when do you palce me before her.
She's always the best.
Even when shes lying or talking bullshitz and nonsense.
Shes always the best what.
GO AND USE YOUR EYES AND SEE
BEFORE THE DAY SHE WANTED TO FOLLOW ME
WHAT SHIT DID I WROTE ABOUT HER.
OMG
YOU MUST BE BLIND.
BLIND.
You just listen to her and scolded me.
HAHHHHHHH.
Lester,
youre a joker.
And
A really stupid one
OMFG.
I HATE THE WORD REALLY NOW.
REALLY DAMN FUCKING STUPID.